Category Archives for: Keepin It Real

Peep Shows

09 November 2005 by dwb

I went to LA over the weekend to meet up with Third World Media regarding some internet projects and found myself in a peep show booth on my last night at 12am somewhere in Hollywood.

I had a small argument with my traveling partner and went out for a drive. A peep show found me.

So here I am in this stroke booth, watching some great POV Latin scene, pants around my ankles but not on the ground because I don’t want some other dudes cum on my jeans, cock is in hand, and I’m jacking it like my life depended on it.

It was perfect timing when I blew my load because the POV guy shot his at the same time. Yet another reason I love POV videos. I can be that dude. I love it! Simple but brilliant concept. Big thanks to whoever came up with this.

I’m now dressed and back in the mini van rental where I start thinking about a trip to New Jersey with one of my buddies. We went out drinking and, well, he drank and I watched because one of us had to drive. So this guy gets shit faced drunk and while we are on the way back to the hotel we spot a peep show and he wants to stop. We go in, he goes off to do his thing in a booth.

10 minutes later I heard someone fall and make a lot noise. I’m up front with the clerk and it was loud so we both head to the back to see what was going on. Inside my gut I knew it was my friend, but I had to see for myself.

Low and behold we go to the booth (the kind with no door) to find my friend PASSED OUT COLD with his pants around his ankles laying on the floor. A peep show booth floor. Guys… you know what I mean when I say that is the last place on earth you want to fall down. The clerk asks if he was my friend and like a fool I say yes so he kicks us out and threatens to call the police. Not only did I have to pick his sorry ass up off the floor, I had to pull his pants up and take his cum covered body to the car. Un-fucking-real.

It was one of the worst nights in the history of bad nights. In retrospect I should have left his drunk ass for the cops.

I later somewhat got him back when I vomited about 10 times in his new car from mixing my liquors, but that is another story saved for another time. And for the record, we have officially voted that the worst job on the planet is the guy who mops the cum covered floors of these filthy places.

You know you have hit rock bottom when your cleaning up another mans spunk for a living. If that is what you do for a living, you need to aim a little higher. Your job sucks. I’d still kick it with ya, but you have the worst job in the world.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Memories, On The Road | Tags: Friends, Peep Show

R.I.P. Halloween

01 November 2005 by dwb

When I was a kid we had mutha fuckin’ HALLOWEEN! Not this softcore shit that they are pushing today. In my neighborhood the kids only have TWO HOURS to get the job done. ONLY TWO HOURS for Halloween!!! What is this? What can you do in 2 hours?

To add fuel to the fire, it was from 5pm to 7pm. Who the hell trick-or-treats when the sun is still up? And I live in a safe upper-scale neighborhood, I can’t imagine what’s going on in the hood.

We would head out in full costume at sundown and be heathens, stealing candy, kicking in pumpkins and burning down scarecrows until at least 11pm. Sometimes until 2am. Every year, no exceptions. Halloween did not end until one of us was injured or the police were cruising the neighborhood running everyone home. Now they get 2 lousy hours. That is just sad. They should cancel Halloween if they are going to make it so lame that it is not memorable. Kids are supposed to play hard, get dirty, run wild and scream on this night. It’s the one night of the year kids are given a pass to be… KIDS.

Today the kids are too protected. These kids will grow up to be pussies and spoiled brats. Let them get dirty. Let them get hurt and break bones. That’s part of growing up and learning how to deal with things. Let them get into trouble, it teaches them lessons. You can’t even give your kid a good old fashion ass whipping anymore without fear for legal action. Truly unreal. I will tell you here and now that if… and that’s a big IF… I ever reproduce *gulp*, I will raise my child in a country where children can still be children and not treated like china dolls. They are kids for Christ sake, let them be. Let them enjoy their youth and break a few bones along the way… it’s good for them.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Thinking Out Loud, Uncategorized | Tags: Fear Inc., USA, What The Fuck

“Friends”

20 October 2005 by dwb

Why is it that when your in the adult industry all your distant friends think you have a little “black book” with all the porn starts names in it? They think that you can make a call and Tera Patrick will just come on over and suck them off because… well, because she’s a whore and it is expected I guess.

Then there are those “friends” who you never hear from until they want to get dirty or they just got dumped. Then all of a sudden they are up in your business wanting to come around and get in on the shoots. “Do you have any numbers of any girls?” I was asked tonight. When I told him no, he thought I was bull shitting him. Maybe I was.

These are not real friends and I know this. I think I’m going to change all my contact info so none of these people can find me. My close friends would never dare ask such favors. And those are the guys you DO hook up when you can.

Maybe I need a good Tranny to surprise them. Yea bro, I have a hot porno girl for you. She sucks a mean cock, bro.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Thinking Out Loud, Uncategorized | Tags: What The Fuck

Fuck Bird Flu

18 October 2005 by dwb

There. I said it.

I’m so sick and tired of getting fear pumped into us 24/7 by the media and the powers that be, often one of the same. Bird flu, be alert at the airports, be alert on the trains, watch out of carbon monoxide gas, AIDS, terrorist want to kill us, there are stolen nuclear weapons, Anthrax, chemical warfare, Muslim extremists, and I’m sure I am missing out on 50 others but you get the point. It’s like we’re all living at DEFCON 2.

People are supposed to die. Shit happens. A plague happens every 100 years or so and we are overdue. Lets lighten up and a bit and let the cards fall where they may. It’s a fact that you and I are going to die so lets accept this fact and enjoy what life we have instead of worrying sick about everything that is fed into our little sheep minds. I refuse to live in fear of this garbage because it is totally out of our control. Don’t fear bird flu, fear 25 Colombian military police kicking your door in accusing you of making child porn. That is fear.

As I write this bird flu BS post I’m gearing up for Thailand and of course, they are having bird flu problems. Last year it was SARS, which by the way I was quarantined for when I got back to the USA. That is a funny story within itself and will tell you about it later. Before SARS, Thailand had AIDS. I’m sure something is already in the works for when we are no longer afraid of SARS. Something new will emerge and scare us all to death. It will be a pandemic and probably global. You will be afraid to leave your house and the stock market will fall because of it, while the pharmaceutical companies who create the vaccine will see record profits. It’s all become so predictable. Yawn.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Thinking Out Loud, Uncategorized | Tags: Asia, Fear Inc., Illness

Stretch Marks

13 October 2005 by dwb

Which way to Vegas? In my down time the past week I’ve been meeting some new potential models. I’m trying to shoot a handful of black girls before I leave for Thailand and as of right now, I’m failing miserably.

Usually it’s 50/50 in regards to the quality of the girls. So far I am at 100% skank. I’d like to meet the person responsible for encouraging these girls to strip, model or sell their ass. They need to be back handed. Not a single girl had a smooth stomach. Even though all of them told me on the phone they were in great shape with no marks, these hoes had stretched out bellies that looked like a road map.

This leads me to my next question. Why do the majority of inner city girls have stomachs like this? Doesn’t anyone teach them how to take care of their bodies when they are pregnant? Are they that ignorant? I’m not just talking about a few marks, I’m talking about a stomach that looks like an alien ripped out of it and attacked the entire family. A true train wreck.

Mothers, for the love of god… please teach your daughters about coco butter.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Thinking Out Loud, Whores | Tags: Black Girls, USA, What The Fuck, Whores

Safe, sound and swollen

28 September 2005 by dwb

As you can see, my last couple blog entries have been a little insane. We have had our share of police and guns and are now taking a long needed break, safe and sound in the good ‘ol USA.

Of all my times of traveling I have never missed the USA and most times dreaded the idea of returning home. After such a hellish trip to Colombia, I actually missed this place and as a joke when I got off the plane I bent down to literally kiss the ground, thankful to be on US soil.

The funny thing is that I had on a very heavy backpack and when I bent over it shifted forward hitting me in the head and pushing my face quickly into the ground. I spent the rest of the night with ice on my nose and lips trying to reduce the swelling. Ahhhh… home sweet home. America – Fuck ya!

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Uncategorized | Tags: Chaos, Injury, USA

Busted

26 September 2005 by dwb

I knew this was going to happen the moment we met that little fucking Pimp kid. Even while trying to do the right thing and not work with him, the little fucker showed up the next day at our hotel with a few girls (who were over 18) in an attempt to pimp them out. Apparently he knew the taxi driver we were using and he brought that little fucker right back to us.

Here is a rough play by play of what happened.

At around 7:30am someone was knocking on my door. I’m naked, dazed and pissed off, but I get, turn on a light, wrap a towel around my bottom and walk over to open the hotel door. The moment I cracked it open, the force from the other side pushed it open as fast as they could. Within an instant, I was on the ground with what feels like boots on my neck, arms and legs, rendering me totally unmovable. There was fast, loud shouting in Spanish and I could see the barrels of a few large machine guns pointing at my head. Oh… my… God. I’m I being kidnapped? Is this the police? Am I going to die? All thoughts racing through my mind at a million miles a second. I came as close to shitting in my pants as a person can get, without actually shitting in their pants.

Colombian police raided our two hotel rooms SWAT style. About 20 military police and 5 or 6 more plain clothed special agents woke us up and turned our rooms upside down. Every pocket, every bag and every pillow case was checked as well as our computers and all our mini DVs that we had been shooting on.

During the process, we had no idea what was going on. After they slowed their speech down, I was able to understand they were there for the pornos and they left it at that.

We had two rooms, Derrick and I in one room, Kincade and Sand in the other. All the gear and mini DVs were in Kincade’s room, and the computer was in my room.

About 20 minutes after the raid on my room the phone rings. It’s kincade.

Kincade: Dude, are the police in your room?
Me: Yup.
Kincade: We’re fucked man.
Me: Did they find the camera?
Kincade: Yup. But they can’t figure out how to turn it on.
Me: Good, don’t show them. They will never figure it out.
Kincade: OK. You know Sand has weed, right?
Me: I do now. Yea, we’re fucked.
Kincade: I’ll call you back.
Me: OK, keep your cool. We’ll work through this.

20 minutes later my phone rings again.

Kincade: Dude, they figured out the camera and are watching the movies.
Me: Fuck!
Kincade: No worries though, the weed is hidden.
Me: OK, check back later.

About 30 minutes later, the phone rings yet again.

Kincade: They found the weed.
Me: That’s the good news I was looking for.
Kincade: See you at the jail boss.
Me: Yup.

After spending a few hours in the room, we were taken to a holding cell at the station.

We spent the next three days there. It was the longest three days of my life. No word of what the charges were. No phone calls allowed. No nothing.

On the last day, they come to the cell, open the door and tell us we are free to go. WTF!?!?

As it turns out, Colombia has a huge problem with pedophiles and people shooting child porn. When the pimp showed up at our hotel uninvited, the manager called the police as I’m sure it looked suspicious why a boy was coming to our hotel room with girls, who even though were over 18, they looked young.

The police came for us thinking we were fucking with kids. Of course we were not but they didn’t know that. They did a full investigation that took three days to confirm we were only shooting porn with legal models. Once they knew we were legit and their investigation was complete, they let us go but kept our gear. I was told we will get it back later but I’m not going to hold my breath on that one. Truth be told, I could care less, I have my freedom. The police didn’t give a shit about the weed, but kept it anyway.

I thought we were locked with the key tossed away, but they later said they could care less about the girls we had shot as long as they were of legal age. They were only there looking for pedophiles or child pornographers, which we are not, so we were free. They said shooting legal models there was not a problem, but I’ve had my fair share of fun in Cali, Colombia and it’s time to move on.

As we walk out of the station, Kincade turns to me and says, “where to now boss?” I didn’t know if he was just that hardcore or if he didn’t really fully understand the situation we were in. Either way, he’s a fucking Storm Trooper.

This was the 2nd most scary moment of my life. The 1st was in Venezuela a few years ago with my brother when we were taken off a bus in the Andes mountains (on the Colombia / Venezuela border) at gun point by guerrillas. They took all the men off the bus, lined us up and pointed guns at us while the leader checked our documents. It was without a doubt a shit your pants moment. In the end they let us all go but until we were put back on the bus, I thought death was just around the corner.

I think I’m going to check Colombia off my list of countries to shoot in. Eh, maybe not. What are the odds of this happening again? Right?

Leave a comment | Categories: Colombia, Drama Factor, Keepin It Real, On The Road, Porno, Uncategorized | Tags: Cali, Colombia, Mr. Kincade, Pimps, Police, Uh-Oh, What The Fuck

Kids pimping kids

21 September 2005 by dwb

Derrick just flew in and we have been on the grind looking for a few DVD “box cover” type girls to shoot. We ended up by mistake in this scary, and I mean SCARY town about an hour or so out of the city where it is 100% black people. I’m talking purple blacks left over from the slave days. It wasn’t scary because it was full of blacks, it was scary because… well, it was dark and you couldn’t see them in the shadows, but you knew they were there looking at us because we were probably the only non-blacks to enter this little town in 50 years. I’d bet most of them have never even seen a white guy, until now.

Then they started surrounding us as if we had fallen from the sky. It was very creepy and a bit scary. As far as we knew, they were cannibals and dinner was just delivered.

We were told about a small bar in town where the whores were so off we went to do what we do. We pulled up to the place and I shit you not the translation of the name meant “The Little Monkeys.” Now, I don’t care who you are, that’s funny. How is anyone going to name a bar in a 100% black town anything to do with monkeys? That’s so wrong you can’t help but laugh. You can bet if there was a white man who came through this town before us, he owns that bar.

Anyhoo… it was time to move on and we got about 10 minutes outside of this little black town and was pulled over by the military police for a random check. Here in Colombia they do this all the time but tonight it was a small unit (10 – 15 guys) with HUGE machine guns, full camouflage outfits and war like face paint. It was very intimidating. This was our 3rd shake down in 3 days so we knew the drill… out of the car slowly, smile, they search you then the car, check your ID and your on the way. Only this time, dip shit Derrick didn’t have any ID on him so you can guess what happened next.

The military police told him it was illegal to travel without it within the country, and it is. They said he had to stay there while I went to get the passport. If I did not come back with it, he was going to jail. Being the smart gringo that I was I tried to bribe the main guy and all hell broke loose as I offended him. We later found out that this hard ass loves his job and has spent the last 17 years (count ‘em) living IN THE JUNGLE fighting militant groups and drug lords. He claims was one of the guys who brought down Pablo Escobar and has also trained in the USA with the Green Berets. 100% total bad ass, and I pissed him off. He could have killed me with his stare alone. In fact, I’d wager a lot of money that this dude could beat the shit out of Chuck Norris with one hand tied behind his back. Yea, he’s that big of a bad ass. At least he looks like one and talks the talk.

So after Sand cooled him down I was off to get the passport and it all worked out fine. 2 hours later we were off to the next town a little shaken from these guys. I don’t frighten easy and I was scared.

Once we got to the next small town we were in search of this Pimp everyone was telling us about. Word on the street is that this cat has the line on all the girls on town and was THE MAN to talk to. After an hour of searching for him, we found him. This “pimp” was only 15 years old and gay. This little boy was a fucking Pimp!!! Unreal. After we confirmed his girls were over the age of 18, I was still a little nervous about dealing with this dude, and went against my gut feeling, and off we went. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Regardless of what he said about his girls being over 18, he took us to meet about 20 girls and all but 2 were underage, some as young as 13. It was sad and heartbreaking to see such young girls for sale. We told him they all needed to be 18 and above, but there is no talking to a pimp of any age it seems. They never listen. Kids pimping kids… what has the world come to?

Apparently this town, which will go unnamed for obvious reasons, is the mecca for child prostitution and a 15 year old gay kid runs it all. Just when you think you have seen and heard it all, something like this comes along and leaves you speechless. When I was 15 I was skateboarding and jacking off in the basement of my parents house while looking at the Sears Catalog bra section. I can’t fathom running whores at that age. So sad.

Knowing the potential for a dangerous situation, we humored the guy for a little while and then went on our way. There are some things I will not be a part of and this is one of them.

Leave a comment | Categories: Colombia, Keepin It Real, On The Road, What The Fuck, Whores | Tags: Colombia, Pimps, Uh-Oh, What The Fuck, Whores

South American Pimps

20 September 2005 by dwb

Sadly, all of us in the industry deal with pimps for talent some time or another. It may be the person running the “model agency”, a boyfriend or sometimes a real pimp that owns the girls and controls their every move. No, I’m not talking about Tera Patrick’s husband Evan (who’s a pretty decent guy), I’m talking about REAL PIMPS, not wanna be pimps. I’m talking about Pimps that will smack the taste out of your mouth and shank you if you cross him.

Now we’re in Cali, Colombia and in a few hours I am meeting with a Colombian pimp to see his selection of girls. If I am lucky 2 or 3 of them will be cute enough to shoot and this pimp will not become a pain in my ass and cause problems. Many of the guys running girls in this city are also connected with a drug cartel so it’s one of those delicate situations where you don’t want to find yourself stepping on any shoes or you very well may end up floating in a river somewhere. Hey, this is Colombia, shit like that happens.

I have dealt with pimps all over the world at one time or another and nothing makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up more than the Pimps here. Some of them are just down right scary. I don’t like guns and don’t I like guys who will use them on me even more. Maybe I should just send Sand and Kincade to deal with this guy today. What’s the worst that could happen? Heh.

Yea, I’m scum. I know. Being a “good guy” didn’t pay the bills.

Leave a comment | Categories: Colombia, Keepin It Real, On The Road, Porno, Thinking Out Loud | Tags: Cali, Colombia, Pimps

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