Sometimes I make porn and stuff. Sometimes I just ramble.
Here’s a few random shots from Bogotá, Colombia.
* They checked our backpacks for bombs before entering the mall where the Hard Rock is.
* They work better when they’re drunk. So long as I keep the booze flowing, they will stick their cocks into anything. 
What a freakin’ night. As I walk out of the hotel Sand is getting robbed by 3 guys right on the street about 100 feet from the hotel door. He yells for me and the guys run when they see me coming. Not that I’m a scary dude but because the odds were no longer in their favor and they risk at least one of them being caught or hurt. Without even thinking if these guys had weapons or not and forgetting I’m in Colombia, I foolishly sprinted to his aid but two of them ran away as I charged, but one poor fucker was slow and we chased down and fucked him up.
While in Sao Paulo 2 years ago I met a guy who trained Military Police and other law officers hand to hand combat. He taught me a few simple moves to lock a person up by his wrist and arm, pin him down and keep him from moving. He made me do it over and over and over so I would never forget it and tonight, two years later I used it on this guy while Sand beat the living dog piss out of him for 3 or 4 minutes until the policia showed up. The whole time Sand is yelling for me to break his arm, and caught in the moment, I put all my weight on his wrist that was bent back to break it, but it wouldn’t fucking break! This dude is superman or something. Sand is BEATING HIS ASS and I’m trying to break his arm with all my might and the guy is just taking it all. Jacked up on some drug I’m sure, but fuck, his arm should still break.
The police arrive.
They cuffed this scum bag while I had him pinned and all the while Sand kept punching him in the face and the police did nothing to stop it. Finally, after wearing down, Sand takes a break and the cops toss the guy up against a wall, hands cuffed behind his back, and sit him up. They then take their night stick and stick it to his throat and start choking the guy! So here we are, right in the middle of Bogota, watching police choking a guy to death! Then, out of nowhere, the other cop starts kicking the guy in the face while the other cop is choking him! WHAT THE FUCK!
The dirt bag just starts to drift to sleep and they stop. They’ve done this before it seems. They choke him to the point of passing out and then stop. Then kick his ass some more before tossing him in the back of a police pick-up truck.
Sand walk up again while the guy is in the back of the truck and started nailing him some more while the cops did nothing. This poor guy literally got the living shit beat out of him.
The police let us go to the station with them to file the paperwork and we got to ride in the truck with the criminal while the cops still smacked him around a bit and Sand took a few cheap shots along the way.
We filed the papers and then the cops wanted to know what I thought about Michael Jackson, Katrina and Colombian women. Huh?
We took them out to a 24 hour chicken joint and got the skinny on some more quality whore houses in town. They also told us that if I would of snapped his arm the way I had him pinned, I would of spent AT LEAST 4 months in jail here. Shit. Thank God that guys arm didn’t break then. Talk about a uber backfire.
Word to the wise, don’t get caught robbing anyone in Bogota and don’t break any bones of the guy who is robbing you. Let the police do it for you.
Its raining here in Bogotá and it’s COLD. Bogotá is a mountain city and its always a little cool here but tonight is like December in Ohio cold. It’s freezing, I shit you not.
Anyhoo… we hooked up with a friend of Sands who is a local TV producer and he took us around tonight to some upscale private whore houses. Here the girls dress in nice dresses and it is not open to the public. He got us in and my eyes fell out of my head withing 30 seconds of walking in the door.
If you can, picture a Miss Universe contest where the most beautiful women on the earth are there. Now picture them Latin with long black hair and beautiful skin. Now picture them all staring at YOU wanting you and coming up to you, rubbing your cock outside your pants and whispering something in Spanish in your ear. They could of been telling me I was a fat, balding hunk of shit but it sounded so sexy I almost blew a load in my pants with each whisper.
These were top Colombian models and TV actresses who turn tricks with the wealthy for big bucks. $500+ USD and up was the price for ONE HOUR with these girls. Yes, they were that hot. Lucky for me I didn’t have $500 at the time because I may of been dumb enough to spend it. That is a huge leap from the normal $35 for an hour to nail normal Colombian girls in some of the locals whore houses.
We were asking some of them about making a video and the lowest price we got was… get this… $5000.00 USD. Yes, thats 5 grand!!!! Fuck me. That is just insane. But they were THAT hot. Do you remember the models with retards? Well, those chicks are not fit to wipe the asses of these chicks. Yes, that hot. I’ve never seen women so beautiful in all my life.
Like poor ass punks, none of us did anything with the girls and left with throbbing hard-ons. I’m sure Kincade is rubbing one off right now in his room as I type this. Actually, that just made me think. I should get a spy cam and stream it from his room every night just to show you guys how this guy likes to dry hump his pillow. OK, I’m getting off topic.
I have a shoot in the morning with a pretty girl with huge tits so I’m off to count Colombia sheep. I bet even the sheep are hot here. Uno, dos, tres, quatro . . . zzzzzzzzzzz
As we move to another city to track down a few guys who will bareback trannies in the ass, I find myself saying things that shock me as they leave my lips.
Let me share my top 10 favorites:
1. “I don’t have time to hang out in a strip club, I’m only here for the trannies. The women can wait.”
2. “No hookers for anyone until we find a pretty tranny with a working cock.”
3. “Do you want the tranny to cum in your ass or on your face?”
4. “Kincade, please don’t go and get drunk right now, I’m going to need your hard dick in a few hours.”
5. “Yes, I do think your pretty but I need to find some transsexuals first. Do you know any?”
6. “I swear I’m not gay or bi, its all for work. Honestly. Stop laughing. Hey, where are you going? I like girls. I love girls. OK… bye. I understand.”
7. “Sand, I need your hard cock over here right now. Rapido por favor!”
8. “Where are all the trannies? No? Donde esta la transvesties?”
9. (to hotel security) “Is it OK to bring girls to the room? Great… how about transsexuals? No? OK… bye.”
10. “I don’t ask for much. All I need is 10 shemales who can get hard and cum. Oh, and they have to be passable and be willing to take an HIV test and bareback on video.”
While picking up some “Postnior2” pills for a girl that Kincade shot his load in by mistake, we saw Caverject sitting there in the pharmacy fridge. It was cheap so we flipped for who was going to test it out. Of course Kincade lost and was the poor fucker to try out this erection shot. Truth be told, there was NO WAY I would of done this even if I would of lost the coin toss.
The fact that a perfectly good cock, and I don’t mean that in a gay way, is about to be injected with this stuff to make it even harder, boggles the mind. But hey, that’s how you gotta roll when you’re driving on Heathens Highway.
Ta-daa! Wood that could cut wood. Brilliant!
From what I’ve heard a lot of guys back in LA are using this shit to keep their cocks hard on the set. Why? If you ask me, if you NEED this to get wood, you don’t need to be in the business.
There is a new song by Sean Paul called “We Be Burnin’.”
This is our new theme song. Sand and Kincade are thanking their Gods for Zithromax right now.
My old man used to say, “Son, it’s all fun and games until you’re pissing razor blades.”
Muahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Here are a few new girls that Kincade and Sand have torn apart. A few of them were cute and great to work with. I’ll always shoot a “cute” or average looking girl if she is willing to do extra like anal or take on 2 guys, so that may explain 1 or 2 of these.
Later, the girl with the blond curly hair (below) tried to cause problems for us by having some cartel boy meet with us so he could get in on the action and get a piece of whatever porno pie I was going to make. We figured that was a bad idea and split town.
All is well on this beautiful night until this tool wants to toss a beer can out of the window of the taxi. I personally hate litter bugs and apparently so do the Colombian police because they pulled us over at 2am and we all pointed them right to Kincade. “He did it!”
They searched the entire car, looked at all my gear and even picked up the mini DV tapes of the days shoots but didn’t know what they were so they just cuffed Kincade as we laughed at him. I paid the cops $5 to let me take some pics, they were happy to ham it up for me.
Kincade spent a day in the can until we went through the SLOW process of bailing him out. It cost $250 total which is nothing compared to the horrible night he spent in a Colombian jail cell. Serves him right.
So Kincade, tell us what it’s like on the inside of a Colombian jail. LOL Next time aim for the litter can, ya jack ass.
As promised, here are some pics of Donkey Fucker #1. The O.G. of Donkey Fuckers. Coma burra numbro uno. “Fucking Rad” are the only words that comes to mind when describing the O.G. of Donkey fuckers.
Seriously, this guy was so creepy and bad ass at the same time, I wanted to put him on the payroll. He belongs with us. I’m gonna keep him for as long as he’s willing to stay. Any man who will raw dog a donkey is OK in my book. My gut instinct says you could trust a guy like this.
These guys came to worship The Donkey Fucker. I don’t blame them. If it wasn’t such a common thing in this area of Colombia, I’m sure they would come by the 1000s to get a glimpse of this madness.
Many of you have friends who do dumb shit. Maybe one of them can drink a bucket of beer through his nose or something, and maybe one is a good fighter or can break down a car engine in record time. But nobody holds a candle to a grown man who repeatedly fucks baby donkeys with a smile on his face. I think this is even discussed in the Bible somewhere. Look it up.
As I type this, Kincade sits on the shitter with brown water spewing from both ends. It’s not pretty. Poor guy drank the water or something and is now paying the cost. We had to scrap a shoot last night when it started. About 12 minutes into the scene and he gets up and makes a full sprint to the bathroom where Exorcist style vomiting took place out of both holes. It was epic.
Needless to say, I feel sorry for the fella so I’m going to post a few photos from the shoot a few days ago when we was in better health.
Here are some photos of a few chicas we just shot. Most of them have been a pain in the ass, but a few of them were great girls who couldn’t get enough dick. Here are a few that I didn’t want to throw in front of a moving bus.
I had a few emails asking what gear I brought with me down here. Being that a lot of what we do is a “hit-and-run” style of shooting, we don’t really travel with big light kits or other things that a lot of the “pros” use in Los Angeles or elsewhere in the porno world.
I’m not a big “tech” guy, I just know what works for me, and this is what I have with me on this trip:
* 1 Camera back pack (holds all my cams but small enough to be considered a carry-on on the plane)
* 1 Sony VX2100 video camera
* 1 Nikon D70 photo camera (with several memory cards)
* 1 Nikon Speed Flash
* 1 big ass, heavy HP laptop
* Balls – If you’re afraid of traveling to or making porno in places like this, stay home.
We try to do as much shooting as we can by natural sunlight but if we can’t, we’ll hit the local hardware store and build a portable bootleg light kit. If you find yourself in need of a bootleg light kit, just be sure to get “daylight” bulbs. Look for bulbs that say things like daylight, natural sunlight or sun. Then set your white balance in your camera and you should be good to go for hit-and-run shoots.
Yes, there are probably better ways to do this but this system works for us. We’re not shooting for Playboy and prefer to focus on Amateur girls, so this gets us by just fine.
The old city of Cartagena, Colombia.
This guitar player knows just about every song ever recorded. Good stuff.
Yesterday I posted photos of these girls with retarded kids. What I forgot to post is that there was some pimp at the show telling us they will come to your room for $300 (USD) an hour. Being the trick that I am, I took his number and told him I would call him in a few days to line something up.
It is impossible for me to choose which one (or two) I will fuck. Just look at them!!!! I’m going to tell the pimp that I’ll take the one that will let me blow a load in her pussy and see what he says. I’ll even pay extra for that.
I’ve let women who don’t look anywhere near as good as these whores ruin my life and try to kill me. The way I see it, I’m drawn to that sort of a woman so I may as well get the most expensive, reckless and hottest one I can find. Right? I mean, look at them. I know they are expensive to “keep” but God damn, it just may be worth it for 6 months or so until you get tired of fucking her.
Honestly, if I didn’t have work to do today I’d be shacked up smoking weed and drinking rum with 2 of these hookers right now.
I almost feel bad saying this, but if you have a woman at home, stop reading right now and go into the room where she is and punch her right in the mouth. I’m usually not one to condone violence against females (unless they throw first) but I’d just wanna kill myself if I was a chick and got a look at these hookers.
Remember I was talking about a model show a few posts ago? Well, this is what it was.
As you can tell, it was beautiful Colombian models doing a fashion show with “special” kids. Coke snorting hotties with retards. Who came up with this idea? I like it!
It was kind of strange watching it because you would be looking at the model, get turned on, then see the kid and lose your wood. Impossible to maintain a constant wood factor of 100%. It was cool of the girls to do though, the kids loved it even if my cock didn’t.
We tried to get one of the girls to walk the runway with Kincade but they wouldn’t let him. I did my best to convince them he is retarded, and he gives it hell, but they just wouldn’t budge. You can bet if he was 10 years old he’d be up there.
You know your going to have a crazy day when your friend wakes you up with, “hey dude, wake up… I just got off the phone with the tranny… we gotta go” and then leaves the room and leaves behind the smell of home grown Colombian sticky. My interest was peaked.
I spent my day riding around in a taxi with my friend, 2 transsexuals and a cab driver who fucks donkeys (“Coma Burra”). Yea, you read that right. Keep reading. See, here in Colombia some people think that if you have sex with a female baby donkey, you will get a large cock when you grow up. Uh-huh. So some country boys here fuck donkeys and our taxi driver just happened to be one of these guys, as is his brother, who we renamed, “Coma Burra dos.” I wish I could make this up but I couldn’t event dream of something so insane.
Hunter Thompson has a quote, “You don’t find acid. Acid finds you when it thinks you’re ready for it.”
Applying that to “crazy situations” I have to believe the same applies. Just swap out the word “acid” for “crazy situations.” You don’t find crazy situations. Crazy situations find you when it thinks you’re ready for one.
OK… where was I? Ah yes… Donkey fuckers.
“Coma Burra” means Donkey Fucker in Spanish. The brothers are from this day to be addressed as “donkey fucker 1″ and “donkey fucker 2.” You can say it in English or Spanish, it doesn’t matter. And why doesn’t it matter? BECAUSE THEY FUCK BABY DONKEYS!!!!! Nothing matters from this point on. In fact, nothing may ever matter again.
DF1 and DF2 are so open about it that it’s creepy, but we are still using them every day as our personal drivers and somehow, in some odd way, there is a bond taking place. Maybe we need D1 and D2 and maybe they need us. Is it possible the universe brought us all together as fate? No fucking idea, I’m high as fuck right now and tripping balls on the fact that these two dudes fuck baby donkeys and I’m going to roll with THEM.
I’ll post pics in a day or two of donkey fucker 1. BTW, donkey fucker 1 is married and STILL likes to fuck the young donkeys. He said baby donkey pussy is better than a real womans pussy. Hmmmmm. Sounds like a trap in the making to me.
So here we are in the barrios where people are riding horses and donkeys around and with me, my Colombian dope smoking friend, two 1/2 dressed transsexuals and a donkey fucker who is wearing a ball hat that says “criminals” on it. We’re driving around on dirt roads in some of the scariest places known to man, looking for girls and trannys to make pornos. Glorious. I have a moment of clarity here and decide at this very moment, the universe is as it should be. We’re going to move forward.
At this stage, all we needed were a few teenage schoolgirls and some hard drugs and we would of been set. Well, one of the trannys had some coke but I don’t touch that shit. Not here, in the middle of the craziest group of people I’ve ever been surrounded by in my life. I’ll pass this time. So then I guess all we needed were some little girls and it would of iced the cake of insanity. Today has been insane my friends. Just insane.
We have managed to find our way into a new city in Colombia and to be honest with you, I don’t know the name of it. It’s some small place near Santa Marta and it’s so fucking hot, I just want to curl up into a ball and die. I’m not sure but the city may be called “Hell” or maybe the “Surface of the Sun.” I’d have to look at the map to be sure, but you can count on it being one of those two. Of all my travels, I have yet to feel heat like this. It’s incredible.
In case you don’t know, hot water is not something that is normal here. They have Normal water, and that means that it is of normal temperature. What ever that means because it’s still cold. I have not had a HOT shower since I got here and I always cry about cold showers until I got to this city. Now I’m taking an ice cold shower every 4 hours.
But you don’t care about that, you want to hear about the girls right? Fuuuuuuuck! They are everywhere here! Shakin’ their bon bon in the discos, the streets, brothels, the malls, bus stops… it’s unreal. I’m going to go out to shoot just some normal girls and your going to poke your eyes out when you see how hot they are.
Wait… news coming in right now… hold on.
Sand (my trusted Colombian gigolo and procurer of all things fine) just came and told me there is a model show, a real modeling show, happening right now down the street! I gotta go! I’ll grab the cam and post photos later. It’s about to go down!
Suddenly it doesn’t feel so hot.
By now you should know that if Kincade is to befriend anyone, it would be the club owners aka the guys with the drinks.
While I’m busy trying to organize the girls so I can take photos of them in a manner that I will remember who the hell they are, Kincade is trying to out drink the local drunk. Kincade won. Then he waltz into the bathroom on occasion, pulls his elephant cock out and has the girl suck on it for a minute or two. He wins again. Then walks back out and heads right back to the bar.
Enough about him. Lets talk about the guy who looks like the Colombian Terminator in the photo above. He’s going to help bang the girls and maybe a few shemales. He’s a cool cat but he speaks ZERO English. He wears his sunglasses at night and takes his shirt off while he dances. The girls seem to love him. He starts working with us in a few days.
This photo doesn’t really do it justice, but it may start to shed some light on what was going on.
Hola Amigos!
Well, we made it in after missing our first flight out of CVG (Cincinnati) and we’re in a net cafe totally pooped from last night. It was the best “first night” I’ve ever spent anywhere, and that’s saying a lot.
It was bananas. We shut a club down to meet girls and had about 50 or 60 (all whores) show up to get naked and do some test shots for us. I figured the best way to get the party started was to have the locals spread the word before we got there that there was going to be a big party with FREE DRINKS, but the catch is all the girls have to at least test shoot for the movies. We were taking their photos in the bathroom while the party raged around us. Good times and lots of titties!
I ended up spending around $1000 USD on the party but we now have plenty of chicks to choose from, lots of numbers and I personally stuck my cock in 16 different girls last night (4 orgasms) while in the bathroom. Kincade had at least 30 sets of lips on his cock. I love this country! We also had two dudes with big ass machine guns guarding the place to keep the local guys out. So imagine, it’s me, Kincade, a few of my Colombian make friends and 50 – 60 drunk Colombian hookers from the barrio. You do the math. It was worth every penny.
Just in case you’re wondering why we didn’t do them all, as that is exactly what I would be thinking if I was reading this, was because 1/2 of them were split or had such a strong foul order coming from their hooch that I didn’t want it anywhere near me. I’m sure you can understand.
Mmmmmmm. Yummy barrio girls. 
Rather than try to shoot the “hottest” model types, we prefer to shoot real girls, normal chicks and girls you’d never kick out of bed. They are a hell of a lot easier to work with than whores who think they’re somebody.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to hit the open road. Welcome to Heathens Highway!
This has been a long time coming but it was only recently that I had the time to get this blog up and running.
Coincidentally, we leave on another South American adventure in just 28 hours so I’m sure your going to get some great posts over the next 2 months as Mr. Kincade and I travel through Colombia shooting for my upcoming Latin site and the popular DVD series Pretty Little Latinas released by Third World Media, as well as a new DVD for Mr. X Productions (distributed by Pure Play Media) entitled Chocolate Chicas featuring black models from Latin America.
Everything has fallen into place for us recently so we are off to do what we do best, shoot hookers in foreign lands. We will be posting the good, the bad and the ugly here and giving it to you uncensored, the way it should be. My cock is throbbing just thinking about what incredible pussy awaits. I have such a thing for Latinas and black Latinas, it’s not healthy.
Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy the ride. Oh, one more thing, lets also remember that everything that has a beginning, also has an end. I don’t know where or when the road will end, but rest assured it will, and it won’t be pretty.
I’d buckle up if I were you.