Sometimes I make porn and stuff. Sometimes I just ramble.
John called me today to proudly confess that he just saw his penis for the first time in years. He was giggling like a little schoolboy.
I threw up in my mouth a little.
And for a brief moment, the world stood still.
This is the first look at the new Thai Special Forces and Home Guard units that were sent in to bring peace and order to The Kingdom Of Thailand.
Word has it that once they spread a nasty case of Gonorrhea throughout the land, The Kingdom will be theirs for the taking.
Apparently the guard units are also controlling the hospitals, clinics and pharmacies where all STD medicine is stored and administered.
“These whores were not messing around!” claims an American bystander who was nursing his cock wound outside of Nana Plaza. “They moved with such precision and speed, it was impossible to stop them!” said Yootapong Sanatari, a General in the Thai military.
I will post more as the story develops.
Today I started shooting some make-up scenes for a gay movie I made and 2 of the scenes did not turn out as wanted. I was supposed to shoot with Allan, one of the Brazilian boys, but he was unable to shoot and I had no choice but to use another Thai boy.
My Thai assistant went out and found a top and a bottom. Both were good looking boys, one of them so gay he left a trail of rainbow flames behind him as he walked around the room. “Intergalactic uber gay” are the words I am looking for.
I shot the solo photos and started into the scene where I was planning to shoot the BJ footage, then stop and do the BJ photos, then move on. Being that they were inexperienced, I would have to walk them through this step by step. Not a problem, I’m used to working this way.
The first boy sucks the hell out of the other boys cock, and when it comes time to switch the other boy says, “can not do, I not gay.”
WHAT THE FUCK!!??!!??
So this freaking little boy refuses to suck the other boys cock because all of a sudden he is not gay.Besides the fact that he works at a gay bar. Besides the fact he is a gay prostitute. Besides the fact he said he was gay. Besides the fact he was just letting another boy blow him on video… he is now saying he is not gay.
Then it hits me. Even the gay boys pull this stunt!
The girls do it all the time. So do some of the ladyboys. The lazy whores will tell you anything you want to hear until they get to the room and then they say they can’t do this or that, after they told you they already can. Tell you they will do anal and then when it comes time to stick it in their ass say they don’t do anal and can’t do anal. The trick is for them to bullshit you into paying their bar fine, getting them out of the bar, and paying them for doing less work. Or even better, no work at all.
Some of them then want you to pay them full price so they can leave without having to work. This is very common these days and a damn good whore trick. I mean really… what are you going to do, call the police on them? And they know this. The boys are no exception to this rule it appears.
So I lose my cool on this scamming little fuck and tell him at least he has to jerk him off and fuck him. I let him slide on the cock sucking, because while that is gay to him, the other acts are not.
He jacks him off a little but neither of the boys have any wood at all.
Fuck.
The scene just went to total shit. I want to murder them both.
I’m not one to give up on a scene, so we tough it out until there is a little wood and we can somewhat finish this sorry excuse for a scene. The “straight boy” was finally able to cum, and the other boy, the intergalactic uber gay boy, beat his limp dick for an hour and could not cum. I called it a wrap.
As they were getting dressed, the intergalactic uber gay boy admits to being awake for 3 days on drugs.
Then the phone rings, it is John T Bone.
John: I just had the worst shoot.
Me: What happened?
John: It was 6 people, 2 girls and 4 boys… bi sex.
Me: And…
John: We spent all day shooting photos and 30 minutes into the scene when it came time for the boys to start fucking, they told me they couldn’t do it because they were not gay.
Me: The exact thing happened to me today! Wow. Maybe they called each other this morning and planned it out. Boyztown is out to get us I have heard.
John: They wasted my entire day. This was a big event, lots of planning. They all said they were gay! Fucking liars, all of them.
Me: What’s the cat think about this?
John: The cat is gone. Jenny ate him for real this time.
Me: So your boys were not gay AND Jenny ate the cat for real?
John: Yup, I think so. He had such a bright future ahead of him.
Me: Fuck. Your day was worse than mine. I need a blow job and a massage, wanna go get a Soapy?
John: Can’t, I have four more boys coming over now to finish the scene. I may throw one off my balcony just to prove a point.
Me: And what point would that be?
John: That they had better suck cocks when I say to start sucking cocks.
Me: Best of luck with that one, sorry about the cat. I hope twinks can fly, I hear some of them can.
(I really read that somewhere)
That was the last I heard of him… 8 hours ago. We both had been fooled by the Boyztown Punk’d Posse.
Hell is… shooting gay porn with boys who are not gay.
This one takes the cake. I’m hanging out on Soi Muslim (where all the Arabs hang out) this morning around 7:30am after a scene, and looking for a thick girl with some fat tits to nail before I go to bed. That’s when I found this girl. Thick as a milk shake with a pretty face and a fat ass.
Rare for an Asian girl, but not rare for this area of town as the Arabs love girls with meat on their bones.
I make my move totally unprepared for what is about to happen.
Me: Hey, where you go?
Her: I look man.
Me: Look at me please… I’m a man, looking for lady.
Her: Where you from?
Me: America.
Her: Infidel. I don’t boom boom Infidels.
Me: Are you shitting me? You’re Thai.
Her: I am Muslim woman now. You are Infidel. Bye.
At this moment I was completely blown away over what had just happened to me. I was determined at this point to bang this girl, what ever the cost.
Me: Wait wait, wait… I want speak to you about Islam.
Her: OK, what you speak?
Me: How much for you to fuck an Infidel?
Her: Can not.
Me: How much Arab man pay to you for short time?
Her: 400 baht.
Me: How about I pay you 2000 baht and I don’t put a Jihad on you.
Her: Huh?
Me: 2000 baht and no holy war.
Her: Mai kow jai. (I don’t understand)
Me: 2000 baht, you boom boom with Infidel. I can tip you with a goat.
Her: Mai kow jai. (I don’t understand)
Me: 2000 baht.
Her: OK, where you stay?
Me: Somewhere that does not allow Arabs.
Her: OK, we go.
And we were off. I won the battle… but lost the war. This bitch would not blow me or jerk me off. She wanted to lay on the bed while I banged her quickly to cum.
Her: Why you move like snake?
Me: Shut up, I’m trying to cum!
And I did, but I had to think about horrible, horrible things in order to get off. I came hard, paid her 2000 baht, and put a Jihad on her anyway.
This whore deserves to fuck Arabs.
I was going to post this the other night when I found it, but thought it may bring bad luck.
Seems they have already dug shallow graves for Mr. Kincade and I along side Beach Road at the entrance of Walking Street.
Not sure what we did exactly, but rumor has it this has something to do with John’s cat and his blog.
I’m not sure what is going on over John T Bone’s place but his cat is looking rough.
Maybe he has cat AIDS or something.
Down to his last life.
Strung out on catnip and abused by ladyboys.
Dying of feline cancer.
Hasn’t slept for days.
Ran out of money to finish his kitty porn movies and is stressing out.
What ever it is… I don’t want to get any on me.
I got a phone call this morning from John T Bone asking me in a serious voice to build a blog for his cat.
HIS FUCKING STRAY CAT!!!!
I hung up on him.
“Tiddles” is his name and John has apparently been teaching him how to shoot and direct.
Not that it’s a hard job, but word has it the cat is hot shit with a serious attitude.
The cat has left Johns apartment twice and ended up down the street at my door. I hate cats and never take him inside my place when he shows up, but I’m thinking he followed the sent of the Brazilian boys to my place. Or maybe he is just wanted to sneak onto my set and get some pussy in the bathroom. Anything is possible
Hmmm. Maybe I should build him a blog. The industry is full ass hats, why not add a porno cat to the mix? Couldn’t hurt.
I’m losing my mind.
Do you ever have those days where you feel like you are face down in the sand, covered in cream, getting ass raped by a large brown dog wearing a funny hat, while all your friends are laughing and cheering on the dog?
I feel like that today.
Well, minus the funny hat part.
I slept like shit due to some bad food I ate late last night that kept me on the shitter puking out of both ends. Erg. I need to work today but my asshole is singing a different song. I’m sure this is all just Karma for the gay movie I shot last week.
Hell is… getting raped by a big brown dog while your friends rejoice.
So I’m banging this whore today on Soi 6 and she got pissed off at me because I did not wait for her to cum.
I told her that I PAY FOR SEX so I don’t have to pleasure the girl unless I want to out of the kindness of my heart. When I pay for sex, it’s all about ME.
Then I explained to her that if she wants ME to get HER off, that it was going to cost her the exact same amount I just paid her to get me off. She did not find that amusing and our time together ended on a sour note.
Tomorrow I will be taking her a complementary copy of the best selling book Selling Pussy For Dummies. Sure to be a best seller in Thailand. Maybe then she will understand her job duties and limits of her chosen profession.
But then again, I may be assuming too much by thinking she can read.
Greetings,
My name is Ronald McDonald and I am the mascot for McDonalds. My job is to put children at ease and to associate fun and happiness with our brand. In other words, I have been hired and paid over 200k a year to help make you fat and addicted to McDonalds food.
Part of my job is infiltrating foreign countries, such as yours, and whoring myself out in a manner that will make you love me and our food.
In Thailand, you can find me greeting each and every one you with the traditional “wai” as you enter our restaurant. This should put you at ease, make you smile, eat a burger, clog a few arteries and put on a few pounds. This is the American way. Trust me, you’ll love it.
We all know that rice is not putting any meat on your bones so please give us a try. I personally guarantee that we will fatten you up to look like an American. Just be sure to SUPER SIZE everything and you will be on the road to McBliss.
Love,
Ronald McDonald
P.S. Don’t forget to try our new McBuddha Burger with fried McRice, it is delicious.
Only in Vietnam can you eat a dog and a snake in the same day.
Against our better judgment, we stopped at snake restaurant (yes, they have those here) to buy a snake, kill it, and drink its blood for power. Or something like that.
The crazy looking Vietnamese man who owned the joint took us to the back and let us choose the snake. Of course if we’re going to do this, we’re going big, so we pointed to the biggest looking fucker they had. He said our choice was a poisonous snake, but fuck if I know. When your drinking snake blood, a snake is a snake.
All I can really say about what happened here is that it’s all fun and games until you almost vomit and snake blood literally shoots out of your nose as you gag. It’s not a pleasant experience, trust me on this one.
The blue pill looking thing you see in one of the photos below is the snake’s gall bladder. Yea, really. The person who pays for the snake is the lucky fuck who gets to eat it. Sometimes it sucks ass being the boss. And while you don’t actually chew the gal bladder, you just swallow it with a drink of blood. Then you can take the rest of the snake home to skin and eat the meat.
I passed on the gall bladder and gave the meat to my Vietnamese friend. I gotta draw the line somewhere. We were only here for the snake blood, and that’s as far as either one of us are willing to go today.
What does it taste like? Well, they mix the snake blood with rice wine so it has a little bit of an alcohol taste, but make no mistake about it, you clearly taste the blood. Ever have your nose busted and had the blood pour down your throat? Remember that taste? It’s like that, plus rice wine, plus snake funk, with just a hint of good old fashioned Vietnamese communism.
There are more photos of this, but Bin took them and his camera was stolen a few hours later. Yea, really. I just snapped these on my camera. Now I’m wishing I had shot them all.
I found this photo today on a message board and they were discussing how it was a photo shoot gone wrong.
Holy shit!
I can’t imagine how many turds the photographer had in his pants when this happened. I have no idea how it ended, but I hope nobody actually got hurt.
What a cluster fuck.
If anyone has more info on this, I’d love to hear it.
We took this Christmas photo just for you.
It was shot a few minutes before we shot the first ever Ladyboy bukkake scene. That’s right, each and every one of these sexy ladyboys dropped their load on the face of one lucky ladyboy, the one sitting in the very middle of it all.
13 ladyboys in all.
Of course, it didn’t go down as smooth as we would have liked it to, but we did get a scene out of it.
Merry Christmas!
This is a man made pussy.
Now poke your eyes out and just maybe you can forget what you have seen here.
Or… get on a plane and fly 24 hours to bang out a hot post-op ladyboy.
Sorry.
As predicted, things got way out of hand over here. Hicks was skull fucked by a Ladyboy tonight. I’m not sure where to go from here.
You never know what is going to happen on a shoot. Usually they go somewhat as planned. Sometimes they don’t. And sometimes you are given little gifts that make it all worthwhile.
Today I was given a small gift.
We were filming a ladyboy bukkake scene (the first ever I believe) and I took my eye off the camera and scene for just a moment to make sure I was not going to step on something I didn’t want to step on, and I saw what you see in the photo.
This was totally unexpected and the last time I saw him, he was fully dressed in the other room.
Good laughs.
Ok, so it’s true. I have fallen in love with a ladyboy and her name is Eye.
It was love at first site.
And once she wrapped her warm lips around my throbbing cock, I was shouting out my ATM pin number.
She had me at “Sawadee Kha” and now she will be adding me to her list of boyfriends who send her money every month via Western Union, but she says I’m her number one boyfriend, and I believe her.
This is a great pic. I’m not sure where it hangs or who took it but I want to thank John for sending it to me today.
* They left out the #1 and #2 thing that an older man can give a schoolgirl: LOTS OF CASH and the best 3 minutes of his life! 
A woman who lives but a few minutes from me was arrested today for not paying ONE DOLLAR ($1) in taxes. Unreal.
I have not laughed this hard in a long time. This guy was one of the looters in New Orleans and this photo hit the internetz and within hours, 100’s of new pics of him have been created.
If this cat isn’t the greasiest, nappiest, funkiest ass black man on the planet, I don’t know who is. Off all the things to be looting, he chooses beer. He even has one in his back pocket. Maybe Looter Guy and Kincade are related? Hmmmmmm.
Looter Guy even has a website. Check it out here.