76% of furniture rapes go unreported
by dwbShout out to my boy, Pipelayer.
Category Archives for: What The Fuck
Cutting off big black tranny dicks
by dwb
I think I blacked this one out, but it just creeped back into my brain for some reason, and I’m going to share it with you.
So… I met a black transsexual while I was picking up a black girl that I was about to shoot for a scene. I have no clue how the topic turned to this but we started talking about sex change operations and she, the tranny, told me how there was a guy in “Over The Rhine” (the Cincinnati ghetto) that did full sex change operations IN HIS APARTMENT!!!!
Yes, you read that right. Some loon was chopping off inner city tranny cocks IN HIS APARTMENT, and the trannys were lined up to have it done!!!
You know what… this is so heinous I don’t even want to continue this post. I’m remembering the conversation I had with that poor tranny who was going to have her cock chopped at this crazy dudes house and I’m getting all weird about it.
I’m out.
I’m about to ruin your day
by dwbEnter the world of VegPorn.com
Coming unglued
by dwb
I’m sitting outside at Royal Garden Plaza today, watching the people walk by and I started looking at Thai boys and wondering if they would make a pretty ladyboy or not.
Not in a sexual way, but literally I was wondering which of them could transform into a pretty transsexual.
This was the first time I’ve found myself with such thoughts.
“This boy would have to take out his adams apple.”
“That boy needs a nose job.”
“That boy over there, he is so feminine all he needs is long hair and a dress.”
And so on and so forth.
Right about then, ladyboy Noot walks up to me and says she heard that Jenny “boxed me” in the eye. Noot laughed, grabbed my cock and walked off in only a manner that a ladyboy can do. I like to call it, the ladyboy strut.
I called Jenny and asked her why she insists on running her mouth about everything to everyone. Her reply was, “Mis-ter Dee, I box you in eye too mut, you speak no good”, then she grunted and hung up the phone.
Then I called John and asked him what the fuck was going on with his bully sidekick and he warned me that she was, at that very second, putting her shoes on to come find me and “box” me again.
I honestly fear this is going to end badly.
Punched in the eye by a ladyboy
by dwb
Unbeknown to me, you know who read my blog to Jenny today.
Not having a clue Jenny was upset with me, I stopped by La Casa del Ladyboys to check out a shoot they had going on and Jenny punched me right in the fucking eye when she opened the door to let me in.
She then made a stupid noise, did some sort of a superhero pose and walked back to the shoot as if nothing had happened.
It’s throbbing at the moment and I have a little cut in the eyebrow. I could probably use a couple of stitches. I’ll see how it looks tomorrow.
But I’m not gay
by dwb
Today I started shooting some make-up scenes for a gay movie I made and 2 of the scenes did not turn out as wanted. I was supposed to shoot with Allan, one of the Brazilian boys, but he was unable to shoot and I had no choice but to use another Thai boy.
My Thai assistant went out and found a top and a bottom. Both were good looking boys, one of them so gay he left a trail of rainbow flames behind him as he walked around the room. “Intergalactic uber gay” are the words I am looking for.
I shot the solo photos and started into the scene where I was planning to shoot the BJ footage, then stop and do the BJ photos, then move on. Being that they were inexperienced, I would have to walk them through this step by step. Not a problem, I’m used to working this way.
The first boy sucks the hell out of the other boys cock, and when it comes time to switch the other boy says, “can not do, I not gay.”
WHAT THE FUCK!!??!!??
So this freaking little boy refuses to suck the other boys cock because all of a sudden he is not gay.Besides the fact that he works at a gay bar. Besides the fact he is a gay prostitute. Besides the fact he said he was gay. Besides the fact he was just letting another boy blow him on video… he is now saying he is not gay.
Then it hits me. Even the gay boys pull this stunt!
The girls do it all the time. So do some of the ladyboys. The lazy whores will tell you anything you want to hear until they get to the room and then they say they can’t do this or that, after they told you they already can. Tell you they will do anal and then when it comes time to stick it in their ass say they don’t do anal and can’t do anal. The trick is for them to bullshit you into paying their bar fine, getting them out of the bar, and paying them for doing less work. Or even better, no work at all.
Some of them then want you to pay them full price so they can leave without having to work. This is very common these days and a damn good whore trick. I mean really… what are you going to do, call the police on them? And they know this. The boys are no exception to this rule it appears.
So I lose my cool on this scamming little fuck and tell him at least he has to jerk him off and fuck him. I let him slide on the cock sucking, because while that is gay to him, the other acts are not.
He jacks him off a little but neither of the boys have any wood at all.
Fuck.
The scene just went to total shit. I want to murder them both.
I’m not one to give up on a scene, so we tough it out until there is a little wood and we can somewhat finish this sorry excuse for a scene. The “straight boy” was finally able to cum, and the other boy, the intergalactic uber gay boy, beat his limp dick for an hour and could not cum. I called it a wrap.
As they were getting dressed, the intergalactic uber gay boy admits to being awake for 3 days on drugs.
Then the phone rings, it is John T Bone.
John: I just had the worst shoot.
Me: What happened?
John: It was 6 people, 2 girls and 4 boys… bi sex.
Me: And…
John: We spent all day shooting photos and 30 minutes into the scene when it came time for the boys to start fucking, they told me they couldn’t do it because they were not gay.
Me: The exact thing happened to me today! Wow. Maybe they called each other this morning and planned it out. Boyztown is out to get us I have heard.
John: They wasted my entire day. This was a big event, lots of planning. They all said they were gay! Fucking liars, all of them.
Me: What’s the cat think about this?
John: The cat is gone. Jenny ate him for real this time.
Me: So your boys were not gay AND Jenny ate the cat for real?
John: Yup, I think so. He had such a bright future ahead of him.
Me: Fuck. Your day was worse than mine. I need a blow job and a massage, wanna go get a Soapy?
John: Can’t, I have four more boys coming over now to finish the scene. I may throw one off my balcony just to prove a point.
Me: And what point would that be?
John: That they had better suck cocks when I say to start sucking cocks.
Me: Best of luck with that one, sorry about the cat. I hope twinks can fly, I hear some of them can.
(I really read that somewhere)
That was the last I heard of him… 8 hours ago. We both had been fooled by the Boyztown Punk’d Posse.
Hell is… shooting gay porn with boys who are not gay.
Thai Muslim Whore
by dwb
This one takes the cake. I’m hanging out on Soi Muslim (where all the Arabs hang out) this morning around 7:30am after a scene, and looking for a thick girl with some fat tits to nail before I go to bed. That’s when I found this girl. Thick as a milk shake with a pretty face and a fat ass.
Rare for an Asian girl, but not rare for this area of town as the Arabs love girls with meat on their bones.
I make my move totally unprepared for what is about to happen.
Me: Hey, where you go?
Her: I look man.
Me: Look at me please… I’m a man, looking for lady.
Her: Where you from?
Me: America.
Her: Infidel. I don’t boom boom Infidels.
Me: Are you shitting me? You’re Thai.
Her: I am Muslim woman now. You are Infidel. Bye.
At this moment I was completely blown away over what had just happened to me. I was determined at this point to bang this girl, what ever the cost.
Me: Wait wait, wait… I want speak to you about Islam.
Her: OK, what you speak?
Me: How much for you to fuck an Infidel?
Her: Can not.
Me: How much Arab man pay to you for short time?
Her: 400 baht.
Me: How about I pay you 2000 baht and I don’t put a Jihad on you.
Her: Huh?
Me: 2000 baht and no holy war.
Her: Mai kow jai. (I don’t understand)
Me: 2000 baht, you boom boom with Infidel. I can tip you with a goat.
Her: Mai kow jai. (I don’t understand)
Me: 2000 baht.
Her: OK, where you stay?
Me: Somewhere that does not allow Arabs.
Her: OK, we go.
And we were off. I won the battle… but lost the war. This bitch would not blow me or jerk me off. She wanted to lay on the bed while I banged her quickly to cum.
Her: Why you move like snake?
Me: Shut up, I’m trying to cum!
And I did, but I had to think about horrible, horrible things in order to get off. I came hard, paid her 2000 baht, and put a Jihad on her anyway.
This whore deserves to fuck Arabs.
What The Fuck A Go-Go
by dwb
I was trolling behind Walking Street looking for a cutie to empty my sperm into when I noticed this on the door of one of the Go-Go I frequent.
I’ve been in here 100 times but never seen this until today. My guess is that I’ve never seen this because when you go at night there are always doormen out front opening and closing the door for you.
For Safety Of All
* No Video
* No Photo’s
* No Drugs
* No Lady’s Under 20
* No Guns
Smile Be Happy
What the fuck is going on here?
Lets break this down play by play…
* No Video & No Photo’s
I am a pornographer and a whore monger extreme. At any given moment I have some device on me to capture an event whether it be a terrorist attack on Soi Muslim, bar girl brawl, or my cock shoved into a hole it should not be in. To deny me of this right breaks my heart. I mean, how much fun can you really have if you can document it?
* No Drugs
Considering this is Pattaya, Thailand and 98% of their staff is on drugs, and has yaa-baa and ecstasy in their purse, this rule is just plain fucking stupid. Add that to the fact that 1/4 the guys in there are lit on something and you have yourself one stupid rule. Can you please define what you consider a drug? Is Viagra a drug, because if so you may as well shut the doors and kick out all the 60+ year old men in there with little girls on their laps.
* No Lady’s Under 20
As if I even need to get into this one, but the irony is… this is one of the ONLY bars in town that actually has girls who are underage! Yes, believe it! Most of girls here are not too shy to tell you they are 16 and 17 years old, yet the bar boasts no lady’s under 20. Give me a break. Just say nothing, don’t give me your shit about no lady’s under 20. Even if they were all 18 (and many of them are), the fact you say not under 20 is a wood killer. Who want’s to come to Thailand to bang a 20 year old when you can have one who just turned 18? Get with the program! And where is your icon? You have icons for the other rules but not this one? How about a pacifier or a lollipop in a circle with a line through it? Both great icons.
* No Guns
This is not Cambodia but Thai people are known to carry a gun from time to time. Unlike parts of Cambodia where you may encounter a sign on a door that reads, “NO GUNS, NO EXPLOSIVES, NO GRENADES,” Thailand does not have a huge problem with it. Regardless, what fun is South East Asia if you can’t carry a gun and a camera?
I was once caught in the middle of a back alley shoot out in Bogota, Colombia and to this day wish I would of had my camera phone to document it. That is one of those stories your friends just don’t believe without proof. Considering this Go-Go bar is located in the heart of Dirka-Dirka-ville (Muslim area), a camera is a good thing to have when Achmed decides to claim his 70 virgins in paradise.
* Smile And Be Happy
Go fuck yourself. I would be happy if you would allow me to enter your establishment armed with both my camera and a gun. Be true to yourself, admit your pimping kids and admit they are all hooked on drugs. Your dancers all have camera phones inside the bar and some of them probably have guns. Why you busting my balls? I just want to take photos of 18 year old whores smoking weed out of the barrel of my gun.
Is that too much to ask?
John T Bone’s pussy
by dwb
I’m not sure what is going on over John T Bone’s place but his cat is looking rough.
Maybe he has cat AIDS or something.
Down to his last life.
Strung out on catnip and abused by ladyboys.
Dying of feline cancer.
Hasn’t slept for days.
Ran out of money to finish his kitty porn movies and is stressing out.
What ever it is… I don’t want to get any on me.
Gonorrhea in your ass
by dwbAny of you ever had Gonorrhea in your ass?
I did a shoot a few weeks ago and the girl loved to lick ass so much she begged me to let her lick mine. Being the gentleman that I am, I obliged and she buried her tongue up my shit pipe for a solid 5 minutes while she gave me a reach around and jacked me off.
We both got what we wanted so it was a win-win.
Two weeks later I am having the most unusual sensation in my ass. It kind of feels like a menthol / bengay / icy hot / cool mint breeze thing going on up there, but not in a comfortable spring breeze kind of way. It’s actually very uncomfortable and if I sit for a while, it starts to hurt.
Is this a hemorrhoid? Is it Gonorrhea? Or do I have a tape worm who is smoking Kools while I sleep?
And why do black people always smoke Kools & Newports?
All good questions.
Raped by a big brown dog
by dwb
Do you ever have those days where you feel like you are face down in the sand, covered in cream, getting ass raped by a large brown dog wearing a funny hat, while all your friends are laughing and cheering on the dog?
I feel like that today.
Well, minus the funny hat part.
I slept like shit due to some bad food I ate late last night that kept me on the shitter puking out of both ends. Erg. I need to work today but my asshole is singing a different song. I’m sure this is all just Karma for the gay movie I shot last week.
Hell is… getting raped by a big brown dog while your friends rejoice.
Warts and all…
by dwb
Tonight we found a beautiful little Thai cutie to shoot a hardcore video for us. I sent her through the usual channels and asked the usual questions to make sure we are on the same page. She went to the doctor for her HIV test, then to the store where I bought her new clothes and shoes for the shoot. Then she went to the salon to be made into a porno vixen.
That’s the routine.
After about 2 hours we made it back to my room to copy her ID and have her to sign a model release. All standard stuff before a shoot. Then the last thing I wanted her to do was go into the bathroom and shave her pussy bald, so off she went.
She walked out of the loo and right up to where I was sitting for a closer inspection to make sure all the hair in her ass crack was gone and low and fucking behold this girl had the worst case of genital warts anyone has ever seen in their life. Her pussy was a mess.
Her warts were slightly bloody from cutting some of them as she shaved but the area between her legs was just destroyed with warts. It was truly unbelievable.
I gave her 1500b ($40 USD) and explained to her that she needed to go right back to the doctor and get this taken care of. What she did after she left my room is anyone’s guess, but my guess is she went right back to the stroll to look for a customer.
And they wonder why we call them “whores.”
That reminds me, I still have an HIV post to make regarding some dirt bag whores who have HIV and are still fucking guys with no rubbers. That’s probably going to be a long one so it will have to wait until I’m in a shitty mood and feel like ranting.
Drinking snake blood in Vietnam
by dwbOnly in Vietnam can you eat a dog and a snake in the same day.
Against our better judgment, we stopped at snake restaurant (yes, they have those here) to buy a snake, kill it, and drink its blood for power. Or something like that.
The crazy looking Vietnamese man who owned the joint took us to the back and let us choose the snake. Of course if we’re going to do this, we’re going big, so we pointed to the biggest looking fucker they had. He said our choice was a poisonous snake, but fuck if I know. When your drinking snake blood, a snake is a snake.
All I can really say about what happened here is that it’s all fun and games until you almost vomit and snake blood literally shoots out of your nose as you gag. It’s not a pleasant experience, trust me on this one.
The blue pill looking thing you see in one of the photos below is the snake’s gall bladder. Yea, really. The person who pays for the snake is the lucky fuck who gets to eat it. Sometimes it sucks ass being the boss. And while you don’t actually chew the gal bladder, you just swallow it with a drink of blood. Then you can take the rest of the snake home to skin and eat the meat.
I passed on the gall bladder and gave the meat to my Vietnamese friend. I gotta draw the line somewhere. We were only here for the snake blood, and that’s as far as either one of us are willing to go today.
What does it taste like? Well, they mix the snake blood with rice wine so it has a little bit of an alcohol taste, but make no mistake about it, you clearly taste the blood. Ever have your nose busted and had the blood pour down your throat? Remember that taste? It’s like that, plus rice wine, plus snake funk, with just a hint of good old fashioned Vietnamese communism.
There are more photos of this, but Bin took them and his camera was stolen a few hours later. Yea, really. I just snapped these on my camera. Now I’m wishing I had shot them all.
Crack hotel blues
by dwb
As I mentioned before, I’m staying at a crack hotel in North Hollywood. Not that I can’t afford a better place, well maybe I can’t, but its right down the street from where I am working 18 hour days getting these new sites and affiliate program off the ground.
The Indians who run my hotel are fucking with me almost daily. The will only let me pay for two days at a time and then call me at 11am to come down to pay more on the third day, after I did not go to bed until 6 or 7am and have asked them repeatedly to not bother me until 3pm. I spoke to the manager and he said he would let me pay one week at a time now, so today that is what I attempted to do.
I told the Indian working there that I was going to stay for two more weeks now because my job was taking longer than planned. He told me with a straight face that I can not stay for two consecutive weeks and that I could only stay for one week, then I would have to check out for one full day and then come back the next day to stay the second week.
He didn’t look like he was fucking with me, but anything is possible. It’s hard to trust a guy who is talking to you and at the same time his head is moving like a wobble doll.
I’m already aggravated with these people so I just say “OK” and try to pay for the week. Not so fast! He will only let me pay for six days and not the full week! That’s a day short for those of you with a learning disability.
Maybe he is fucking with me.
It’s too close to the office and I am too lazy to change hotels right this minute, so if I don’t murder him, I’m going to have to put up with his shit.
One thing that I have been doing, since he has been terrorizing me, is every morning when I roll in around 6 or 7am and he is still sleeping in the office, I wake him up. I make up an excuse to need him. Toilet paper, soap, towels… what ever. I just wake that asshole up every chance I get for the non-sense he is putting me through.
I wish I had my camera with me or I would show you some pics of this shit hole and the numb nut Indians running the joint.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I may kill him tonight. I’ll let you know how it works out.
Taco Bell ass wiper
by dwb
We were at Taco Bell tonight, eating healthy like we always do, and this old guy walks up to us and comments on how cold it was.
He looked like he could be homeless, insane at the very least. Whatever he was, he was one of “those” guys.
We acknowledge his comment with a friendly nod and he starts to walk away, ripping a very loud, wet fart as he does. It stops him dead in his tracks.
So there we are waiting on our food, and this guy who just sharted, walks up to the counter, grabs some napkins and wipes his shitty ass right there in front of everyone. He looks at the napkin, sees the shit, then tosses it in the trash bin. Fucking nasty ass old crazy fuck.
I don’t know which is more disturbing, the fact that he just shit himself and wiped his ass in front of everyone, or the fact that nobody seemed to care that he did.
Speaking of nasty fucks, I have been staying at a crack motel. I have been there a week now and I have yet to have my room cleaned, get a new towl or a new roll of toilet paper. The room is complete with full, beat up 1960’s decor. It makes want to hit the pipe and bang street whores. I don’t actually smoke crack, but I will fuck whores in this motel, no doubt about it.
Filthiest photo online
by dwb
I was told this is the filthiest photo on the internet.
Photoshopped it may be, and disgusting it is, but if there is one worse, I don’t want to see it.
Of course Goatse or Tub Girl are disgusting photos, but neither of them involve a pig or sausage.
Actually, now that I think about it, Tub Girl is worse because it’s real. So is Goatse. So I may be wrong here. This may only be the 3rd filthiest photo online.
If you live in a cave and don’t know about those two pics, you should search for them. You’ll know when you find it.
Porn is forever
by dwb
I’m really fed up with chicks who shoot a video, then when they get caught by someone they know, call me begging me to remove their videos and photos. It is getting out of hand.
In addition to all the other wack bitches who have done this, I have this black girl on my ass right now because just about everyone she knows found out she was banging a white boy on the internet.
Now… she didn’t care anything about this when she was getting top dollar for a days work. I wanted her so bad I paid her more than some of the girls in LA get. Yea, really. And I shot her two days in a row, so she took home a lot of cash.
She also didn’t care anything about being seen when she called me back the following week wanting to do it again because she needed… more money.
At no time did she care or even think about her friends at that point. All she cared about was getting paid. But once that money is gone, everything changes.
Now that she is busted, she claims her life is ruined, she is ashamed, she doesn’t want to leave the house, everyone at work knows she did it and talks about it every day… yadda, yadda, yadda, ebonics, ebonics, ebonics. I lost track of what she was saying 3/4 of the way through the conversation when she got super ghetto on me. Sorry Dalonda, I don’t speak ebonics.
The first thing I told her was she needed to nip the work shit in the ass. That is sexual harassment. Period. She needs to hire an attorney and go get their ass. I’m sure some ambulance chaser would be all over that one.
Second, I reminded her how she was loving the money she got and had fun spending it. It’s only when your broke and busted do you feel bad for what you did.No one forced you to do anything and you even signed a contract with me. You knew damn good and well what you were doing.
Of course all of that fell on deaf ears.
At this point she is willing to do “anything” she says. And she means anything to get her photos and videos pulled off the internet. That’s all fine and dandy but there is no going back once your image is on the internet. Porn is forever.
Even if I did remove her from my site, there are countless webmasters who use her photos and video samples for promotion. Not to mention how much money those two scenes are really worth. They are worth a lot more than she can afford to buy back from me, which I did give her the option to buy them back at 4x what I paid her to make them. And that was being nice.
I’m not trying to be a dick, but I’m sick of this happening. This is not the first time. They need money so they work, so they work. Then they get caught. Then I’m all of a sudden the dirt bag who is exploiting them. But lets not forget that almost every one of them sells her pussy on the side, as that is usually how I meet them. This girl was a huge ho when I met her.
Part of being an adult is learning to live with the decisions you made in the past, good or bad. Lord knows I have made plenty and would love to have a “do over” or a reset button, but that’s not going to happen. I live with what I have done.
The worst thing about all of this is, when she gets in a pickle again, she will call me wanting to work. Again. Even after all this. That is what they all do. So far, every one who has called me in tears begging for me to remove their photos and videos ALL called me at a later date wanted to shoot again.
There is a common thread among whores. They can’t save money. They spend all the money they have. They will do anything to get more. And most of them date some dead beat who smokes weed all day, plays video games and takes most of her money.
Speaking of video games, anyone see the new Grand Theft Auto? I just saw the tail end of the commercial for it last night. I love that game. It is only there I can beat the shit out of these bitches and not feel bad about it.
Burning whores alive
by dwb
I found this photo today on a message board and they were discussing how it was a photo shoot gone wrong.
Holy shit!
I can’t imagine how many turds the photographer had in his pants when this happened. I have no idea how it ended, but I hope nobody actually got hurt.
What a cluster fuck.
If anyone has more info on this, I’d love to hear it.
Would you eat these bugs?
by dwbHow hungry would you have to be to much on these?
Well, if you’re Thai, you may eat these disgusting things like us westerners eat popcorn. But why don’t they just eat popcorn? There is simply no reason, other than you are starving to death, for you to eat any of these.
And yes, I know a scorpion isn’t a “bug” so don’t start.
This is a post-op ladyboy
by dwb
This is a man made pussy.
Now poke your eyes out and just maybe you can forget what you have seen here.
Or… get on a plane and fly 24 hours to bang out a hot post-op ladyboy.
Sorry.