Sometimes I make porn and stuff. Sometimes I just ramble.
Oops.
Where I come from, if you’re gonna kill a man, you at least stay awake while you have other people do your dirty work.
What good is condemning your enemy to death if you’re not the last thing he sees before you put him to sleep?
I have a new Sony VX2100 video camera and I had it in my carry on when I left Thailand the last time. It’s on my person, padded, and protected, what can go wrong?
First of all, Suvarnabhumi Airport (the new airport) is beautiful. However, saying that it is 1/2 way between Pattaya and Bangkok is a crock of shit. It shaves off maybe 20 minutes from going to the old airport.
Besides the stories of corruption where millions were swindled by the Thais who were building the place, they went all out on the design and build. However, one issue I have (besides the large signs everywhere inside the airport pointing to the Muslim Prayer Rooms as you depart and go to your plane), is that they allow you to walk through security, get drinks & buy Duty Free items, and then they take them from you before you board the plane. This is Thai idiocy at its best.
Then, after the main security they do another security check right before you get on the plane, and it’s by hand. They look at everything and tear your just re-packed bags apart. Again.
The inconsiderate monkey who dug into my bag tore it to shreds like a starved animal in search of food. Then he piled it all up and literally jumped in the air to put his weight onto my bag to make it all fit. I shit you not. I heard a “crack” and some other noise and screamed at him, pushing him off my bag. In typical Thai idiot fashion, he laughed and said, “no pom-pem.” He then tore into my second bag. I was considering tearing his throat out but figured his meaningless life was not worth wasting mine.
After the bag rape, I didn’t have time to open everything back up and actually check all the items for damage, but I knew something broke. I heard it. I thought it was a piece of carved wood that I was bringing home as a gift.
Guess again.
I just unpacked to find out that cricket eating, uneducated, United Airlines employee actually cracked the mic on the VX2100 and smashed in a button so it is no longer active.
Nothing else in the bag was broke, the “crack” was the camera that cost more than his entire village.
I am so pissed off right now, I would literally burn down his entire village if I knew exactly where it was.
That reminds me…
Thailand’s New Years is called Songkran, and it’s a water festival. I think I blogged about it before.
I was filming Mr. Kincade last year and as we walked past a group of girls I asked them to please not throw water on me because I had my camera. All of them was cool and said OK but was I was passing, this one flea bag whore said, “I don’t care” and dumped an entire bucket of water onto my VX2100 video camera. I don’t recall much after that other than seeing red and wanting to snap her neck. Maybe I did grab her by her neck, I don’t recall now. Have to ask Kincade.
“I don’t care!” She said. What kind of a person do such a thing? Again, this herpes and hepatitis infected whore was probably raised in a shack but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t taught to respect other peoples property. That is the same as me going to her parents thatch roof house and catching it on fire. They would cry and say “please, it’s our only house” and I would say “I don’t care!” and torch it with a smile on my face. Then skin that whore alive and pour rubbing alcohol all over her.
Some of the people in Thailand never ceases to amaze me, and just when you think they can’t out-dumb themselves, they totally go above and beyond the call of duty to prove you wrong. And don’t think it’s just the Thais, because many of the foreigners who visit or live there are just as bad.
Where’s Bird Flu and SARS when ya need it?
Since all of my Yahoo e-mail accounts decided to not work today, I spent some time cleaning up my computer, getting rid of shit I don’t need or use and trying to find out what keeps making it crash. I couldn’t believe how much shit I keep on this thing, I mean it’s fucking filled with porn from me, my friends, the internet, DVD covers, you name it, from all over the world.
Then it hit me, my computer has The Clap.
Knowing how to deal with this from first hand experience I quickly ran to the medicine cabinet to fetch 1000mg of Zithromax and 500mg Ciprofloxin, and ground them into dust.
I then sprinkled that dust into my keypad and left my baby alone for a few hours and wouldn’t you know… clean as a whistle. No more crashes and it’s running like it was fresh out of the box. I can’t say the same for Yahoo, but at least all my systems are GO.
During the clean I found some pics back when I used to film in the USA and actually had fun in the process. Back when the girls enjoyed sucking cock, eating pussy, swallowing sperm and liked to fuck in general. But ahhhh, those days are gone. This one is from my interracial site (TheDirtyWhiteBoy.com) and here very soon it’s getting a long overdue face lift. That site is old as the internet but God damn, it still makes sales. 
These two girls were among my favorites and the coolest to work with. The white one cleaned up her act, found Jesus and actually came to my house to apologize to me once about her behavior. Very strange. I would of accepted a blow job and she could have skipped the forgiveness. I hope she’s found the peace she was searching for.
The black girl, well, I don’t know what happened to her. She was a damn good make-up artist and would do most of the black girls make-up before I shot them. Cool chick, I hope she’s doing alright. Very cool chick.
I desperately want to film some big ass black girls soon. I’m having withdraws and I’m masturbating violently several times a day thinking about black girls. Well, in-between my violent rub off sessions while thinking about big boobed Japanese girls. I guess either one would do the trick right about now.
Anything but Thai girls. Hell, I’ll even come over and film you fucking your old lady if you want. Just let me know!
Sure. Why not?
But if you’re not into this sort of thing, it may give you nightmares.
On the flip side, I’d rather be eaten alive by this odd group of Japanese hotties than a pack of real zombies.
This is the first look at the new Thai Special Forces and Home Guard units that were sent in to bring peace and order to The Kingdom Of Thailand.
Word has it that once they spread a nasty case of Gonorrhea throughout the land, The Kingdom will be theirs for the taking.
Apparently the guard units are also controlling the hospitals, clinics and pharmacies where all STD medicine is stored and administered.
“These whores were not messing around!” claims an American bystander who was nursing his cock wound outside of Nana Plaza. “They moved with such precision and speed, it was impossible to stop them!” said Yootapong Sanatari, a General in the Thai military.
I will post more as the story develops.
Uh oh.
Talk about getting out of town in the nick of time.
Click Here for story.
Click Here for a good read on Wikipedia about this.
Reason #1283 to never, ever have children.
I can assure you with absolute certainty that if I did breed and they lived, my children would do something like this. Almost daily.
Lets hear it for vasectomies!
On 2nd thought, these may be my kids.
When I see this photo, I can’t help but think about my brother and I as kids and all the hell we must have caused my poor mother. Sorry mom.
I saw this coming and only have 2 words for all of the parties involved in this case: “Forensic Evidence”
Next time you may want to do a little of that before you bring someone around the world and create a media frenzy. The guy is a pedo for sure, but a little homework would have saved a lot of time, effort, money and embarrassment.
Lets chalk this one up as a Forensic Fail.
Like the rest of the world, I have been watching CNN and all they are talking about (when they are not discussing the pedo John Marc Karr from Thailand) is how this latest foiled terror plot would have been worse than 9-11.
Then I laugh and head for the DVD shelf and pull out Team America.
Team America fans may recall the following quotes:
Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that’s…
Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.
And my favorite:
Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.
Chris: My God, that’s… I don’t even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!
Every time I hear them talking about the attack would have been worse than 9-11, I can’t help but laugh and watch Team America one more time.
Fuck ya!
I took a healthy shit today, stood up to wipe my ass and low and behold I had a toilet full of bloody poo!!! WTF!?!
This was a first, so I’m a little freaked out and have been surfing the web looking for answers all night. I guess I’m going to go to the hospital tomorrow and get checked out.
Just thought you would all like to know.
And for the record, contrary to popular belief, nothing has been inserted into my ass. So please spare me the wise ass comments. Thanks.
So I wake up today to hear that John Mark Karr was captured in Thailand for the murder of JonBenet Ramsey 10 years ago. Not news that surprises me but what did send bumps down my neck is that he was living in The Blooms, which also doubles as a short time hotel for fucking whores. Though I have no idea who this guy is, I am guilty of doing despicable things to Thai prostitutes in this very hotel.
Though it seems like a playground for those trying to escape something and hide, Thailand is not really the right place to “disappear,” at least not these days. At one time it was but now one must flee deep into Cambodia or Laos if you truly want to fade away into nothing. My bet is that he went there anyway on holiday to bang little girls, but that is just my opinion. His mistake was not living there and trying to work in Thailand.
This guy looks like a fruit cake to me. I’m going to go out on a limb and say he’s a mental case and may not be the guy they are looking for.
I’m going to be posting on some past events, in no order so try to stay with me.
My friend Jimmy came to town after a 2 year absence due to a run-in with INTERPOL and the Royal Thai Police. It was all a huge mix up, be he still had to sort it out.
His first night walking back at Nana Plaza he was telling me how good it felt to be back and problem free. About that time some drunken soccer hooligan just walked up and punched him right in the face. (BTW… this is him about to suck a girls nipple inside a bar. Not big deal, but the girl came with her boyfriend who just walked off to the bathroom.)
Jimmy did the smart thing and walked away because he knew if all hell broke loose it was going to cramp our evening. So he walked over to the cops to round this guy up, but the drunk took off running and the hunt was on.
All of us were looking for this guy when I’m spotted by a guy talking to a ladyboy, “hey are you Dimitri?” he asked. Fuck, not now! Bad timing.
I didn’t have time to talk but it ended up being Vin Cross, a new guy shooting over here in Thailand. I wasn’t being rude to him, but it was honestly the worst time in the world to try to talk to me as we were all hunting this prick who sucker punched Jimmy in the mouth.
The cops finally found the prick and this ass hat decided he wanted to fight the cops… you know the rest of this story so I won’t waste my time writing it.
The punch was wasn’t a strong one, but what made it bad was just a few hours before Jimmy had to have one of his teeth pulled at the hospital, and as luck would have it, he got hit right there where the tooth was just removed. Ouch.
That is the end of that story.
Back in the saddle, this soi dog was on the streets and macking bitches like the old days. Whores, non-whores, business women… all fair game for Jimmy. He’s fluent in Thai, reads and writes it, and knows how to play the game here. Three girls a day, never pays, a true mack in every sense of the word. He even has hi-so girls with rich daddies take him shopping. If anyone truly deserved a key to the city here, it is this guy.
This pic is him and his pasty white ass humping the pizza delivery girl (from Pizza Company) on my bed. No shit. I ordered pizza, he gets laid.
I pay for the pizza, he fucks for free on my bed.
See what I’m talking about? Bow to the power.
Famed researcher Dr. Robert Hare stated in his 1993 book Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us that many, if not most people in the adult film industry are clinical psychopaths (he also included prisons, stock markets, and even politics as areas with above normal psychopath populations).
He describes psychopaths as “intraspecies predators who use charm, manipulation, intimidation, and violence to control others and to satisfy their own selfish needs. Lacking in conscience and in feelings for others, they cold-bloodedly take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without the slightest sense of guilt or regret.”
According to Hare, people in the adult film industry, including producers, frequently exhibit traits common to psychopaths, including superficial charm, constant need for stimulation and instant gratification, sexual promiscuity, lack of anxiety, lack of remorse or guilt, short term marriages, inability to sustain relationships, impulsivity, irresponsibility, and substance abuse.
Yup… that pretty much hits the nail on the head.
More info about porn actors: Wikipedia
Yea, I’ve been slacking but I slept with a 19 year old Filipina Virgin last night to make up for it. God bless the Philippines.
Anyhoo… lots has been going on since I was attacked by a soi dog. The FBI started doing 2257 record inspections and so far 3 DVD companies have been inspected. From what I hear all passed but we both know that all it’s going to take is one company to not have to together and it’s going to be a feeding frenzy.
I’m confident I would be OK during an inspection, but how nervous would that be to have the FBI in your home or office looking through your shit?
Another soi dog rolled into town and has been spreading his seed across the Kingdom. Jimmy is in town and it’s been two years since he was here. He deserves his own post so I will get to that soon. Stand by for his story.
My ingrown toenail is back. That was the downer of the week. I think when I get back to the USA I’m going to bite the bullet and have it cut out for good. The entire nail gone. I have endured pain like a person should never have to endure with this nail getting clipped in Colombia twice and Thailand four times… no numbing, just some girl in a salon with clippers and my puss filled toe… and yet here it is again.
At this point it may hurt less to just get the toe amputated.
“But then you can’t walk” is what you are saying now, but since I’m on it let me tell you a story about the last time I slept with a virgin.
I lost my virginity to my high school sweetheart and she was missing her big toe. Apparently her father was cutting the grass on his riding lawn mower and had her in his lap. Well, she fall off and her little leg went under the mower and somehow only her big toe was cut off. Truly a miracle. She walks fine and has perfect balance so the myth about losing your balance without a big toe is busted. My God was that girl sexy with a huge set of milky tits that were way too big for her age. Good times. I’d pay good money to hit that again.
That is probably a lot of info for you to process so I will leave you alone for a bit to figure it all out. I’m going to bed to dream about sleeping with virgins with big tits, but I will probably end up having nightmares about giant big toes. I hate when I have that dream.
Since the last post it struck me that I have never shared my favorite site on the internet with you.
I’m talking about my all time, number one, I could do without every other site online as long as I had this one…
This free site is my house of worship. I pray daily to this site and all of the thick, big tittied Japanese women on it. This is holy cyberspace and I treat it as such.
Take a look for yourself at some of the galleries on the site and feast your eyes on the most glorious tits in Japan.
You may find that it is time to change your religion. But I warn you my brothers… if you are already into big boobed Asian girls , proceed with extreme caution, this is a slippery slope.
Another canceled launch.
Unlike Mike South (mikesouth.com), I am not a rocket scientist and I have never worked at NASA. Maybe one of you smart folks could explain to me, as if I am three years old, why the space shuttle can fly in space, but not in the rain.
It has parts that crack, parts that break, the foam panels get messed up… all while flying around 17500 miles per hour. But if there is a slight chance of rain or clouds, the launch is canceled.
It can orbit the earth at amazing speeds and get hit with space debris in the process, yet the thing simply falls apart while sitting on the launch pad, and rain will stop a launch. I don’t understand.
I’m all ears if anyone would like to take the time to explain this to me. Mike?
At about 4am this morning I was stuck under a ledge outside of a 7-11 while it was raining sideways. It just so happened that also stuck with me was 6 bar girls who were all getting on a little digital scale to see how many kilos they weigh. It only costs 1 baht (less than 3 cents) to do this and it occupies the whores.
I’m watching these fuck pigs giggle and try to guess the others weight. Being bored out of my skull I jumped in and asked them how many kilos they thought I weighed. A few giggles and then the guesses started… 98, 102, 105, 95, 100 and 99.
All wrong.
I know this because I was on the scale last night, but I felt like fucking with these girls because anyone who has spent any amount of time here knows how much Thai people LOVE to gamble.
I asked them if they wanted to put money on it and without a seconds thought they all said yes. After some hustling, I was able to get them up to 400 baht (about $10 USD) each, which is a chunk of change for a fat bar girl. The deal was that if any of them guessed my weight, I would pay them 400 baht each. However, if they were all wrong, they would all pay me 400 baht. It was a deal.
We all got out our money and let a moto bike taxi driver hold it. That was a stupid thing to do but it was raining so hard I had doubts that he would run with it, and he didn’t. But he was equally curious to see how much this fat falang weighed.
I asked them again, one at a time, how much they thought I weighed.
98… 102… 105… 95… 100 and 99, they said.
I didn’t have change on me so one of the pigs paid for for the scale. They all started pushing me to get on the scale so I stepped on it. The scale sang it’s little song and displayed “107.5 Kilos” in a bright red digital font. Booyah! I win. I may be a pig myself, but to beat a Thai girl in any game is a great accomplishment.
The girls piss and moan but the taxi driver hands me the money and I walk away just as the rain is letting up. I was able to get around 20 feet down the sidewalk when I see a girl I just had to short-time. So right in front of the losers, I told this girl I wanted to take her to a short-time room and to bring her friend. I’d would pay them each 1000 baht if they fucked me and each other. Deal. You know the rest of that story.
To recap… I won a bet, fucked two girls, watched a lesbian show and still had 400 baht in my pocket. Tonight was a good night.
I think I found a new hustle in the Land Of Smiles. I’m going to start hanging out around town at all the baht scales and hustle drunk bitches for my time money. So if you see a chubby white guy always hanging out at the scales… that’s me. Come up and place your bet.
My apartment in Thailand is nice. Ocean view, daily maid service, modern furnished room, swimming pool, and so on. My maid knocks on the door every day around 2pm. If I ignore her she will come in and see I am there and she’ll ask if I want her to clean to the room. Most days I will get out of bed and tell her only to give me clean towels.
Today she knocked on the door and walked in. She did this because yesterday I told her to clean the room today… so here she is.
I’m in bed recovering from an all nighter with one of my favorite whores and a 50mg pill of Penegra (generic Viagra). I shot 4 loads in her and to be honest, that did me in. I’m not as young as I used to be.
So the maid comes in, cleans the bathroom and then comes into my room where either A) she did not see me, or B) she is the dumbest cunt in the world. All the while, I’m laying in bed watching her. She notices my shorts, picked them up and goes for the pocket, taking out my cash and begins to count it.
I make a “ah-hem” sound and she panics, quickly putting it back, saying she is sorry.
At this point I get out of bed and start to get dressed. She continues with the “sorry” routine and that she was counting the money to make sure it was all there. Yea, you read that right. I then told her I was going to speak to the building owner and she starts grabbing at my cock, offering her body and services to me.
After last night, my body is spent but due to whatever leftover Penegra in my system, I’m at 82% wood from the grab ass she is playing. So I did what any guy would do, I dropped my boxers and let her go to work.
It was a shitty BJ, but what am I to expect, she is a maid. Only now she is a maid with my sperm in her mouth.
When she was done, I walked down and got the owner anyway. Now the maid is in full panic mode and begins to tell the owner why she was counting my money, to make sure it was all there. A noble story, but I had to explain to the Thai owner that there is no way the maid would even know how much I had in the first place. If you can’t tell by now, logic doesn’t play a large role in Thai society.
This conversation went back and forth for 30 minutes and neither of them could comprehend what I was saying or the logic behind it all. Then, the owner had the audacity to ask me why I did not keep my money in the safe.
So now I’m getting nowhere and it has turned from my maid being a thief to her looking out for me, and it’s all my fault for not keeping my money in the room safe. Thai logic. What did I expect?
I took all the spare keys to the room, and am having the locks changed. The maids now have new rules for my room. Unless there is a waterfall from the room above or fire in my room, nobody, and I mean NOBODY comes in when I am not there. Anyone I catch in the room will get their ass kicked… man, woman or child. This they understood and quickly handed me all the key copies.
The moral of this story would be, never trust your maid.
I was on my motorbike tonight and heading to Walking Street when I was forced to slow down due to a huge bus full of Indians blocking the street. As I came to a crawl “Cujo” the rabid soi dog came running at me full speed and tried to take a bite of my leg.
Pinned between vehicles with this dog running right at me from the side of the street, I had no choice but to kick this dog in the face as hard as I could and attempt a sorry getaway between the stopped cars. He yelped and flew back a few feet just enough for me to start my escape, but he was quick to charge me again doing a Matrix style lunge-jump-bite and as I leaned forward this rabies infected beast dug his choppers into my bike seat. Jesus fucking Christ! This scared the living shit out of me and almost made me crash into a stopped car.
It’s all fun and games until a soi dog turns on you.
I had a good day today and didn’t even have to scream or abuse any Thai people. Baby steps.
Anyhoo… I have three types of women that flip my trigger and cause me to act stupidly without thought or any regard to life or limb.
* Not in order of importance *
1) MILFS: (Mom I’d Like to Fuck) sexy moms around 28 years and older.
2) Teens: 18 – 19 years old. Young, fit girls with tight bodies and very little experience.
3) Super Whores: A girl of any age who will do just about anything, at any time, with no questions asked.
Please humor me while I discuss the pros and cons of each, then you can discuss amongst yourself.
Eye Candy
Without question teens win this one. A MILF can be sexy with a set of big floppy tits and a fat ass, but when your looking at a little spinner bouncing on your cock with little A or B cups and a bald beaver… that was what Willis was talkin’ ’bout. Firm bodies, tight stomachs, perky little tits, fresh faces, and bubble butts. I’m sporting about 92% wood right now just thinking about it.
Super whores can sometimes be good eye candy because they know how to dress to kill. That is a job requirement of a super whore. They also know how to flaunt it in the sack to turn you on. Another job requirement. It is as if their only purpose on this planet is to milk the cum out of cocks.
MILFs are sexy and sometimes when I am craving fat tits, they are also good eye candy, but when it comes to eye cancy, nothing beats a young girl fresh out of high school. Nothing.
Sexual Performance, Technique and Skill
Super whores and MILFs run neck and neck on this one. Both are experienced in the sack and most of them really enjoy fucking. However, a super whore may beat out the MILF in the long run because she is… a super whore and possesses super powers.
Teens do not generally rank here. She may have power like the energizer bunny but that is as good as it gets. At such a young age they are usually insecure and unsure of their bodies, and most of them don’t yet know exactly how to please themselves.
Of course the exception to this rule is teens who were sexually abused and used a lot growing up. These teens are generally better fucks than the average teen, but still not up to par with a super whore or a MILF.
Some of the best sex I’ve had sas been with MILFs and super whores. Most of my girlfriends have been super whores because that is what I’m usually attracted to. If they are bi-polar, that is a bonus. I like the rush I guess. What does that say about me?
Though, I have to admit, as I get older I am steering clear of super whores for anything other than a short-time fuck in a cheap hotel.
But today, someone flipped the script.
Today I fucked a girl who has only been 18 for a few weeks and she fucked me within an inch of my life with the same passion, vigor and determination as any super whore or MILF could ever have. I was blown away with this little girl. She was a teenage super whore (TSW). Probably abused as a kid, but she was a bigger slut than the abused girls usually are. It was mind blowing how amazing this TSW was.
She is in my bed sleeping as I type this and I would like to add that she is sucking her thumb. Yea, really. I think I’m getting married. In the words of the great poet David Coverdale, “Here we go again.”