Heathens Highway

Sometimes I make porn and stuff. Sometimes I just ramble.

Raped by a big brown dog

04 May 2006 by dwb

Do you ever have those days where you feel like you are face down in the sand, covered in cream, getting ass raped by a large brown dog wearing a funny hat, while all your friends are laughing and cheering on the dog?

I feel like that today.

Well, minus the funny hat part.

I slept like shit due to some bad food I ate late last night that kept me on the shitter puking out of both ends. Erg. I need to work today but my asshole is singing a different song. I’m sure this is all just Karma for the gay movie I shot last week.

Hell is… getting raped by a big brown dog while your friends rejoice.

Leave a comment | Categories: Hell Is:, Japan, Preposterousness, Random Photos, Thinking Out Loud, What The Fuck | Tags: , ,

Selling Pussy For Dummies

02 May 2006 by dwb

So I’m banging this whore today on Soi 6 and she got pissed off at me because I did not wait for her to cum.

I told her that I PAY FOR SEX so I don’t have to pleasure the girl unless I want to out of the kindness of my heart. When I pay for sex, it’s all about ME.

Then I explained to her that if she wants ME to get HER off, that it was going to cost her the exact same amount I just paid her to get me off. She did not find that amusing and our time together ended on a sour note.

Tomorrow I will be taking her a complementary copy of the best selling book Selling Pussy For Dummies. Sure to be a best seller in Thailand. Maybe then she will understand her job duties and limits of her chosen profession.

But then again, I may be assuming too much by thinking she can read.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Preposterousness, Random Photos, Sex, Thailand, Thinking Out Loud, Whores | Tags: , , , ,

I’ve gone gay

01 May 2006 by dwb

I was horrified, amazed and completely speechless after shooting my first gay scene. The guys have been teasing me saying that I will fucking boys soon, but I assure you that is simply not going to happen. Trust me on that one.

Nothing against the boys, but I simply love women too much to start screwing boys simply because I’m shooting them now.

I need to give my Brazilian boys a thumbs up. What we have done is shot the hardest gay movie to EVER come out of Asia. Take my word on that one. My two boys ripped these Thai twinks… um… new assholes. Throat gagging, vomiting, gaping assholes, coke cans shoved up asses, slapping, choking, spitting, feet in mouths, toes sucked, and a few boys leaving with bleeding assholes claiming that their “pussy hurt” as they limped out the door.

It’s rough.

I’m not sure what the title is going to be on this yet, and I don’t know how much of it the editor is going to leave in and how much will end up on the cutting room floor, but if you are into Asian boys being dominated and rectally destroyed… this one is for you.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Porno, Thailand | Tags: , , ,

Off the rails in Phnom Penh

27 April 2006 by dwb

I went to Phnom Penh, Cambodia for a few days of total debauchery and danger.

We went to the shooting range where we shot AK-47s, Tommy Guns, M16s, threw some hand grenades and even shot at a cow with some sort of rocket launcher.

$30 per 100 bullets. $30 per grenade. $200 for the rocket. $300 for the cow. Free steak dinner after the shoot… priceless. ;-)

That night we went out in search for some young tail that was around 18 – 19 years old. We ended up in some dark and filthy slum where we were offered 8 – 11 year old girls by some shady dude who looked like he wanted to cut our throats. We kindly declined and moved onto girls who actually had pussy hair and tits.

Once we found older girls, it was the typical wham bam, thank you mam, hope you don’t get pregnant, catch ya later routine. All for the low price of $20.

You can get $4 “taxi girls” on the side of the road sitting in shacks. These are mostly for locals, who only pay $3, but if you find one that does run from you when you pull up… it’s a cheap pump and dump if one were so inclined.

This photo is one of the places we were taken to where they paraded little girls out for us. It was literally in the middle of a horrible slum somewhere in the city. We had to walk for about 10 minutes or so through the slum, just to get to this little place. Through tiny walkways where sewers were spewing into it. In-between a few buildings where we literally had to walk through sideways so we would fit. It was crazy and scary. Stupid really. Then after all of that, they took us to a child prostitution shack. As a tip, don’t ask for “small ladies” in Cambodia unless you’re looking for kids, as we found out the hard way that is what it means.

What may have been a little more unnerving than walking to the place was walking out of it. After we declined their little girls, I had this feeling in my stomach that maybe we had seen something we shouldn’t have and because we didn’t partake, it may cause problems for us. But it didn’t and they took us out of there and onward. Creepy. Very creepy. And sad.

What I did find odd about the child prostitutes was, they were Vietnamese and not Cambodian. I assume they were kidnapped or bought from poor Vietnamese families. I’m not sure if they do this to their own girls or not, but this f-shack was 100% Vietnamese. Or so they said. I can only hope they shut all of these places down.

OK, that was a downer. Lets change the topic.

The next night I spent some time in search of shrooms but was sadly defeated. I wanted to eat some and run around the city until I got mugged. Probably would not have had to go far, a lot of the city is pretty shady once the sun goes down. Any place that will sell you a little girl and let you shoot rockets at cows, will not think twice about gutting you for a dime. Maybe less.

Cambodia sticks it to you with a $25 entry AND a $25 exit fee. But I guess after you blew a few hundred bucks to shoot a rocket at a cow, $50 is no big deal.

I’m glad I missed the cow though. It’s not as easy as you’d think to shoot one of those things.

Leave a comment | Categories: Cambodia, F-Shack, Keepin It Real, On The Road, Sex, Thinking Out Loud, Whores | Tags: , , , , , ,

Tom Cruise in Thailand

20 April 2006 by dwb

I was talking to a whore we were shooting and I told her that her friend looked like Yoko Ono.

She didn’t have any clue who that was so I asked her if she knew John Lennon. Her reply was “No, but I know Tom Cruise.

I told her that was close enough and then shoved my cock down her throat while singing Imagine.

BTW… the whore in question was “Ice” from the post before.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Thailand, Whores | Tags: , ,

Ice Ice Baby

19 April 2006 by dwb

Mr. Kincade tore up another one tonight. Her name is “Ice” and she left the shoot not a happy camper.

He roughed her up more than she liked, even though she said she liked it rough. Then he blasted her in the eye and gave her red eye. Very romantic.

I have a new guy that we need to break in. He is an Aussie and has never shot anything before, so my fingers are crossed that he will work out.

John T Bone is also here shooting right now and has some Brazilian boys who fuck like cave newts but they are also sucking off ladyboys and taking it in the ass. They swing both ways and fuck pretty hard so I may use them for a few shoots.

Leave a comment | Categories: Porno, Thailand, Whores | Tags: , ,

Ronald McDonald does Thailand

18 April 2006 by dwb

Greetings,
My name is Ronald McDonald and I am the mascot for McDonalds. My job is to put children at ease and to associate fun and happiness with our brand. In other words, I have been hired and paid over 200k a year to help make you fat and addicted to McDonalds food.

Part of my job is infiltrating foreign countries, such as yours, and whoring myself out in a manner that will make you love me and our food.

In Thailand, you can find me greeting each and every one you with the traditional “wai” as you enter our restaurant. This should put you at ease, make you smile, eat a burger, clog a few arteries and put on a few pounds. This is the American way. Trust me, you’ll love it.

We all know that rice is not putting any meat on your bones so please give us a try. I personally guarantee that we will fatten you up to look like an American. Just be sure to SUPER SIZE everything and you will be on the road to McBliss.

Love,
Ronald McDonald

P.S. Don’t forget to try our new McBuddha Burger with fried McRice, it is delicious.

Leave a comment | Categories: Preposterousness, Random Photos, Thailand | Tags: , ,

The Itty Bitty Titty Committee

17 April 2006 by dwb

We found this skinny Thai girl at 7-11 buying a pack of gum and a sucker. It was almost too good to be true so after pinching Mr. Kincade on the nipple, I moved in for the kill.

Of course she was down to leave with us because lets face it… I have serious game. OK, so I don’t have game, but I do know how to sweet talk a hooker into getting in front of my lens… CASH!!!

Mr. Kincade broke her. This is documented on the video. I had to give her a head massage once when she had to stop because his big white cock was causing so much pain. Yea, she’s that tiny.

Kincaded finally blasted a HUGE load on her face and she took it like a champ, red eye and all. Even though we had to take a few breaks to let her work out the pain, the scene turned out OK. She’s so cute and little, it would have been hard to mess this one up.

Now she’s in my bed snuggled up to my hairy monkey leg while I make this post.

Leave a comment | Categories: Porno, Thailand, Whores | Tags: , , , ,

Warts and all…

15 April 2006 by dwb

Tonight we found a beautiful little Thai cutie to shoot a hardcore video for us. I sent her through the usual channels and asked the usual questions to make sure we are on the same page. She went to the doctor for her HIV test, then to the store where I bought her new clothes and shoes for the shoot.  Then she went to the salon to be made into a porno vixen.

That’s the routine.

After about 2 hours we made it back to my room to copy her ID and have her to sign a model release. All standard stuff before a shoot. Then the last thing I wanted her to do was go into the bathroom and shave her pussy bald, so off she went.

She walked out of the loo and right up to where I was sitting for a closer inspection to make sure all the hair in her ass crack was gone and low and fucking behold this girl had the worst case of genital warts anyone has ever seen in their life. Her pussy was a mess.

Her warts were slightly bloody from cutting some of them as she shaved but the area between her legs was just destroyed with warts. It was truly unbelievable.

I gave her 1500b ($40 USD) and explained to her that she needed to go right back to the doctor and get this taken care of. What she did after she left my room is anyone’s guess, but my guess is she went right back to the stroll to look for a customer.

And they wonder why we call them “whores.”

That reminds me, I still have an HIV post to make regarding some dirt bag whores who have HIV and are still fucking guys with no rubbers. That’s probably going to be a long one so it will have to wait until I’m in a shitty mood and feel like ranting.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Porno, Thailand, What The Fuck, Whores | Tags: , , ,

Lazy Thai whores

14 April 2006 by dwb

It’s been so long since I worked with a real girl that I totally forgot how big a PAIN IN THE ASS they could be sometimes.

Freakin’ lazy ass dirt bags. All they have to do is get fucked, but I guess it’s too much effort to lay on their back and open their legs.

There is nothing worse than a lazy whore.

Well, maybe a broke pimp with no hoes, but a lazy whore is a solid runner up.

BTW… did I mention Kincade is back in town? He WRECKED this lazy bitch. Atta boy! The worst thing one of these fuck holes can do is get lazy on Mr K and he will unleash holy hell on them.

Leave a comment | Categories: Porno, Thailand, Whores | Tags: , , ,

Shooting Ladyboys in Phuket

10 April 2006 by dwb

I am in Phuket right now shooting Ladyboys. So far I have lost 10lbs from sweat, had less that 4 hours of sleep in the last 72 hours and one of our Ladyboys almost perished during our first shoot. I saved her life and grabbed her arm as she literally fell off a cliff. No joke.

She blew me to show her thanks later in the evening. Then we snuggled until I came to my senses.

I’ll try to make a complete post about the shenanigans going on here tomorrow or the day after. Right now we’re knee deep in LB cack (yes, that is spelled correct) and we don’t have a lot of leisure time. Stay tuned.

Gotta run, my big boob Thai cum dumpster is rubbing her beautiful tits on my back and my cack is so hard it hurts. She says, “Sawadee Ka” to you and, “come fuck me now” to me.

Duty calls…..

Leave a comment | Categories: Drama Factor, Keepin It Real, Porno, Sex, Shemales, Thailand, Whores | Tags: , , ,

Bootleg Bin

06 April 2006 by dwb

The heathen known as “Bootleg Bin” is a behind the scenes heathen. You’re not going to see him in front of the camera banging a schoolgirl or ladyboy in the ass, but he is a vital part of the machine and a dear friend.

In fact, it was ‘ol Bootleg Bin who turned me on to Ladyboys. Go figure.

Today Bin got his second tattoo. He is 1/2 Japanese so he wanted to get something written that only sneaky Japanese like himself could read. He’s probably up to something.

Maybe it’s a plan for global destruction. Maybe it’s his name. Maybe he is reminding himself how big a prick I am. Maybe it’s the secret to life. What ever it says… I can’t read it and it’s on his arm for life.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Thailand | Tags: , ,

Funny Things Whores Say – 1

05 April 2006 by dwb

Inspired by Mike’s (MikeSouth.com) Stripper Quote Of the Day, I would like to start a new section here called, Funny Things Whores Say.

Since I am in Thailand where the girls generally speak piss poor English, it should be a fun place to begin.

Tonight I was on a Baht bus (small pick-up truck used as a taxi) with a Thai hooker and she was telling me how she takes good care of her body.

“I no like drink or smoke. I only like smoke big cigar with no fire too much.”

Translated: I do not drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes, but I like to suck big fat cocks as often as possible.

Leave a comment | Categories: Funny Things Whores Say, Thailand, Whores | Tags: , ,

Whores Disease

04 April 2006 by dwb

Many men are under the impression that you can turn a ho into a housewife. Well, I’m here to break it to you that you can’t. Don’t even try.

Don’t make them your girlfriend, don’t buy them gifts, don’t tell them that you love them and most of all DON’T fall in love with them!

A woman makes a choice in life to sell her pussy or to not sell her pussy. To sell her pussy with a goal, such as to buy a new car, is much more noble that just being a whore with no goal or direction. I have respect for girls who sell pussy and have a goal. Once they achieve this goal, they no longer sell their pussy. It is a means to an end.

But we all know these types can be counted on one hand. And I’m talking about all the whores in the world. Strippers are the same way. How many of them really put themselves through college? I know of one, and I’ve known 100s of strippers.

Once that woman makes the choice to cash in on the gold that sits between her legs, and does so without a goal or a plan, you can write her off. There is usually no turning back. There is no un-doing the whore. Once you are a whore, you are infected with whores disease and you are trapped in the cycle of making large sums of money and spending it just as quickly as you make it.

See a new pair of shoes… that’s only 1 trick and you can buy them. To pay your rent you only need to pull 6 tricks. You need a quick $200, call Chris your regular customer who is goo-goo over you, he’ll see you tonight.

That is how a whores mind is programmed. Once a woman thinks like this… there is no return. This is reality regardless if you want to believe it or not.

Last night I was talking to a whore I know here in Thailand. A very pretty whore worthy of being a girlfriend to some sucker from another country. She is now pregnant but not showing, and claims the boyfriend knocked her up. Not a client.

But does a whore really know who knocked her up?

I know 2 guys who dumped loads into her the same time she got knocked up, not including me.  One of the times is on video. I told her that I wanted to see her soon and she tells me it has to be this month because she is leaving Thailand to marry her boyfriend in Switzerland and have his baby. Little does he know, it could be a heathen baby, but that is now the boyfriends problem. He trusted a whore with no goals.

This is typical whore behavior. No respect for anyone, including themselves. This is what whores do. They whore.

I have countless stories like this. Whore from America, Canada, Germany, Italy, Thailand, Cuba, Venezuela, Colombia, Spain and even a few whores from Russia. Each as scandalous as the next. Whores are whores around the globe regardless of color, education or nationality.

So if your one of those guys thinking you can change your whore by taking her out of the game and give her a better life. Wake up and smell my cum… it’s still fresh in her pussy.

You can not change a ho into a housewife. Not today, not tomorrow, not in your lifetime.

Whores do one thing and one thing only… sell pussy! In order to sell pussy you must lie for a living and keep your game face on around the men who pay you and the men you want to attract. Read that part twice and don’t ever forget it. A good whore never removes her game face, even when she is around you.

This may sounds like an anti-whore rant but it is not. I love whores. God and Buddha bless them all. Each and every one of them. Just don’t fall for their shit.

A working girl or not, we are all paying for pussy in one way or another. You take your date out and try to impress her for what? To get in her pants. You buy bitches drinks at the clubs for what? To get them drunk so you can have a better chance to fuck them. Add all that shit up and you may as well get a professional to do the job. At least then you know for a fact you are getting laid when you use a whore. That is her job. She has but one service.

And no matter what you do, always remember… You are not paying for sex. You are paying to say goodbye.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, Whores | Tags: , ,

The End Of The World

03 April 2006 by dwb

On a message board today there was discussion of how the world would end. This post by KRL caught my eye.

* The K-T asteroid that destroyed most of the mammal and bird life on earth 65 million years ago was only 10 kilometers in size. Scientists believed it emptied the water out of the Gulf of Mexico and sent waves over 2,000 ft high into the US, Mexico and South America and left the earth in complete darkness for about a year which shut down the food chain. Winds caused by the pressure of the impact explosion may have reached over 2,000 mph.

Astronomers estimate there are over 1,000 near earth objects over 1 mile wide.

About once every 2,000 years a significant asteroid hits the earth. If one hits a city it would be total destruction much like an atomic blast. Most hit the water since the earth is 75% ocean. However tsunamis caused by these strikes generally cause waves from 300 to 1000 feet high. So even without a direct city hit, you could still see massive coastal city destruction with a just right impact.

* A super volcano at Yellowstone which is building up magma at an alarming rate is also a serious concern. Scientists are expecting this within 600,000 to 650,000 years from the last one. We are now 640,000 years since this happened so it could happen at any time. Magma would be flung more than 50 kilometers into the atmosphere. Within a thousand kilometers virtually all life would be killed by falling ash, lava flows and the sheer explosive force of the eruption. Volcanic ash would cover places thousands of miles away. One thousand cubic kilometers of lava would pour out of the volcano itself, enough to coat the whole of the USA with a layer a few inches thick. The explosion would have a force 1000-2500 times that of Mount St. Helens.

* A mega tsunami could occur in the Canary Islands Cumbre Vieja Volcano. Although there is now some evidence indicating the original analysis of this is not possible, if it does occur the entire US east coast would be hit with a 100 to 300 foot wave that would go inland about 12 miles.

* The earth’s magnetic pole reversal which many scientists believe could occur in our lifetime, would also destroy much life on earth, since losing its protective magnetic envelope, the atmosphere would expand and become thinner, possibly leading to altitude sickness near sea level. No longer filtered out, deadly cosmic rays would kill most if, not all, living creatures on the surface. Only those living in deep caves would be safe. Everything electronic on earth would no longer function. Some theorize such a shift may even cause a complete plate shift which would cause winds, earthquakes and tsunamis on an intensity of unimaginable proportions.

* In terms of a World War III and IV total annihilation nuclear event, Albert Einstein summed that up best with his statement, “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”

Leave a comment | Categories: And Now You Know, The Internetz | Tags:

A plethora of pinatas

01 April 2006 by dwb

Jefe: We have many beautiful pinatas for your birthday celebration, each one filled with little surprises!

El Guapo: How many pinatas?

Jefe: Many pinatas, many!

El Guapo: Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?

Jefe: A what?

El Guapo: A plethora.

 

Jefe: Oh yes, El Guapo. You have a plethora.

El Guapo: Jefe, what is a plethora?

Jefe: Why, El Guapo?

El Guapo: Well, you just told me that I had a plethora, and I would just like to know if you know what it means to have a plethora. I would not like to think that someone would tell someone else he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has *no idea* what it means to have a plethora.

Jefe: El Guapo, I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education, but could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?

* No matter how many times I see this, I piss myself on this part. Comedic genius.

Leave a comment | Categories: Pure Awesomeness | Tags: , ,

Pretty Little Latinas 36

01 April 2006 by dwb

Oops, I was wrong. I thought Pretty Little Latinas #35 was the last of our Colombian adventures (and a Brazilian scene or two), but somehow I forgot about a few chicas.

This is Pretty Little Latinas 36, and it’s out now.

All I seem to think about anymore is Asian school girls, so I slip up when it comes to things like Colombian hookers.

I should be ashamed of myself. Seriously.

After checking it out, I can say without a doubt that there are some hot girls on this DVD and some smoking hot bareback sex to match.

This is a must have for fans of the Pretty Little Latinas series.

Leave a comment | Categories: Brazil, Colombia, On The Road, Porno | Tags: , ,

Uhhh… Lunch?

26 March 2006 by dwb

I have no idea what kind of fish this is, but it was our lunch and it was pretty freakin’ nasty.

It wasn’t as bad as the snake blood we drank or the dog we ate, but it was right up there. In fact, if I could have chased this down with snake blood, it would have made my day.

I think maybe it would not have been so bad if I did not have to look at it just sitting there. Serve it to me ready to eat for Christ sake!!! Nobody wants to look at this shit before they eat it. Clean it up and present it in a manner that gives just a small illusion that it is edible.

How do you eat it? You rip off some of the fish, get some greens and some of the other shit on the table, and roll them up in wet rice paper, making some sort of chewy, fishy Mekong river taco.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, On The Road, Vietnam | Tags: ,

The Mekong Delta

26 March 2006 by dwb

We spent the day wearing rice hats (like the one you see here) and boating around the Mekong river. I actually took this photo from the back of the boat.

Many of you know of this river from the Vietnam War and war movies like Apocalypse Now.

From what we were told, the area we were in saw a lot of fighting between the US Navy and Viet Cong Guerrillas.

I sure as shit would not have wanted to fight here as you can not see anything on the banks, and the water is brown so you can not see what is 1 inche in the water. Talk about being a sitting duck. You are totally blind on all sides. Scary stuff.

There are really no words to describe just how thick the jungle is here. I am not exaggerating when I saw that like the water, you can’t see a single inch into it. This is something I’ve never given real thought to until today.

Leave a comment | Categories: On The Road, Thinking Out Loud, Vietnam | Tags: ,

Vietnam is hot as hell

25 March 2006 by dwb

Yesterday, the heat index it was 119 degrees. For normal guys like you and me, that is fucking hot.

Seriously, it’s not even funny how hot it was, but I’m going to make a few bad jokes about it anyway.

One could say that the heat burns worse than a bad case of gonorrhea.

Or that it is hotter than a set of rims and a Nelly concert.

Others may say that you could fry an egg on the sidewalk or simply that it is a scorcher.

I prefer “hot as hell.” This would be the most accurate of them all.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, On The Road, Thinking Out Loud, Vietnam | Tags: , ,

← Older posts

Newer posts →