Heathens Highway

Sometimes I make porn and stuff. Sometimes I just ramble.

“Friends”

20 October 2005 by dwb

Why is it that when your in the adult industry all your distant friends think you have a little “black book” with all the porn starts names in it? They think that you can make a call and Tera Patrick will just come on over and suck them off because… well, because she’s a whore and it is expected I guess.

Then there are those “friends” who you never hear from until they want to get dirty or they just got dumped. Then all of a sudden they are up in your business wanting to come around and get in on the shoots. “Do you have any numbers of any girls?” I was asked tonight. When I told him no, he thought I was bull shitting him. Maybe I was.

These are not real friends and I know this. I think I’m going to change all my contact info so none of these people can find me. My close friends would never dare ask such favors. And those are the guys you DO hook up when you can.

Maybe I need a good Tranny to surprise them. Yea bro, I have a hot porno girl for you. She sucks a mean cock, bro.

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Fuck Bird Flu

18 October 2005 by dwb

There. I said it.

I’m so sick and tired of getting fear pumped into us 24/7 by the media and the powers that be, often one of the same. Bird flu, be alert at the airports, be alert on the trains, watch out of carbon monoxide gas, AIDS, terrorist want to kill us, there are stolen nuclear weapons, Anthrax, chemical warfare, Muslim extremists, and I’m sure I am missing out on 50 others but you get the point. It’s like we’re all living at DEFCON 2.

People are supposed to die. Shit happens. A plague happens every 100 years or so and we are overdue. Lets lighten up and a bit and let the cards fall where they may. It’s a fact that you and I are going to die so lets accept this fact and enjoy what life we have instead of worrying sick about everything that is fed into our little sheep minds. I refuse to live in fear of this garbage because it is totally out of our control. Don’t fear bird flu, fear 25 Colombian military police kicking your door in accusing you of making child porn. That is fear.

As I write this bird flu BS post I’m gearing up for Thailand and of course, they are having bird flu problems. Last year it was SARS, which by the way I was quarantined for when I got back to the USA. That is a funny story within itself and will tell you about it later. Before SARS, Thailand had AIDS. I’m sure something is already in the works for when we are no longer afraid of SARS. Something new will emerge and scare us all to death. It will be a pandemic and probably global. You will be afraid to leave your house and the stock market will fall because of it, while the pharmaceutical companies who create the vaccine will see record profits. It’s all become so predictable. Yawn.

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Stretch Marks

13 October 2005 by dwb

Which way to Vegas? In my down time the past week I’ve been meeting some new potential models. I’m trying to shoot a handful of black girls before I leave for Thailand and as of right now, I’m failing miserably.

Usually it’s 50/50 in regards to the quality of the girls. So far I am at 100% skank. I’d like to meet the person responsible for encouraging these girls to strip, model or sell their ass. They need to be back handed. Not a single girl had a smooth stomach. Even though all of them told me on the phone they were in great shape with no marks, these hoes had stretched out bellies that looked like a road map.

This leads me to my next question. Why do the majority of inner city girls have stomachs like this? Doesn’t anyone teach them how to take care of their bodies when they are pregnant? Are they that ignorant? I’m not just talking about a few marks, I’m talking about a stomach that looks like an alien ripped out of it and attacked the entire family. A true train wreck.

Mothers, for the love of god… please teach your daughters about coco butter.

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Biometric ATMs

09 October 2005 by dwb

No, I’m not talking about Ass To Mouth, I mean real ATM money machines. Get your head out of the shitter already.

I actually had the chance to see some of these being used down in Colombia where they are trying this new technology. Very cool stuff. You stick your thumb down on a pad and it reads your print. As long as it’s YOU, you get cash.

The only problem I see is people getting robbed or killed and forced to go to the ATM or even worse, have their dead body taken to the ATM. Anyone think of a solution for that yet because… well… it is Colombia.

There was a linked story here but Yahoo moved it and the link is broken. I’m not sure what good a site is like Yahoo if all their old links are broken.

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Dumb Bitches Gone Wild

07 October 2005 by dwb

I’m watching TV tonight desperately trying to find ANYTHING worth watching on the 400+ channels I have, when I stop to watch one of the newer Girls Gone Wild commercials. What is up with these whores?

This time they are one some island but they are also searching for new girls to be on the island and compete for something. Not sure what, but it looks degrading. Yea, I know, pot meet kettle, but these are not dirty hookers. They are also in the clubs having girls do push ups on the floor and comment that she is doing the push ups in vomit before showing her tits. I’ve done a lot of bad things to girls, but never anything like that. Yuk. Have a little pride for fucks sake. Everyone fucks, but who does push-ups in other peoples vomit?

That’s when it hit me.

These are the stupidest, desperate for attention whores I have ever seen. The dumb fucking sluts are showing their tits, doing push ups in vomit and making complete asses of themselves. At least porn chicks get PAID for sucking dicks and taking loads in the ass. That is respectable. You can respect hookers and strippers because they are making good money doing what it is they do. But these ignorant drunk sluts are just showing it off for what? A t-shirt? Maybe a few bucks but God damn… everyone including their father is going to see this shit late night on TV. “Is that my baby girl doing push ups in vomit?”

The guy who made this is a genius (and a rapist/asshole/tax evader apparently) but the drunk whores they get to flash the tits need to have a foot put in their ass. If any girlfriend of mine ever came home from a club to tell me she flashed her tits (for free) to some camera crew, I would kick her out of the house immediately and burn her belongings in the street. If you know one of these dumb whores who have flashed their tits for free or have done push ups in vomit, please do the same. They may not be “dirty whores” but they are the dumbest whores I’ve ever seen.

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Turning Japanese

05 October 2005 by dwb

“I’m turning Japanese I think I’m turning Japanese I really think so, Turning Japanese I think I’m turning Japanese I really think so, I’m turning Japanese I think I’m turning Japanese I really think so, Turning Japanese I think I’m turning Japanese I really think so…”

What a great song. I get happy every time I hear it. Then I get wood thinking about all the hot Japanese girls who long for my seed.

I have to really stop looking at Japanese porn cause it’s making me lose focus. These girls are so damn cute I can’t stand it. I’m not sure who these pics belong to but I’m going to dedicate some sperm to each and every one of them.

I’m thinking it’s time to devote an entire section to the awesomeness of Japanese chicks.

Amazing body! Mmmmmmmm.

Please, email me with your favorite Jgirls. I need them!

Perfect titties Wife material

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Black girls in the ghetto

04 October 2005 by dwb

It’s been a while since I’ve shot girls in the USA. Most of the time I only work with black models when I’m here because, well, because:

1) They usually work cheap and everyone knows how I love to exploit the black youth of America.

2) I am addicted to those round & brown bubble butts. I think black women are the most beautiful women on earth, but that doesn’t mean I won’t get one over them when it comes to making a profit in this business.

I’m in the country for a month or two and decided to shoot some new girls while I’m in. I’ll post pics of girls as I meet them (if I actually get off my ass to shoot any) but prepare yourself for a laugh. Whenever word is out that I’m hunting new models, the roaches come out of the cracks. If I put the word out, you’re gonna see some serious crack head skanks!!! Hopefully after about 20 broke down, beat up, street walking hookers, I’ll find 4 or 5 stallions that will make the cut.

In the end though, they are all the same. They will come to me dead broke, get paid anywhere from $200 – $500 and within 48 hours they will call me wanting to do another scene because they are broke. I will ask, “what did you do with your money?” and they will reply with something like, “I bought a lot of shoes.” This is why the people in the ghetto stay in the ghetto. They have no concept of a dollar or what to do with it. This doesn’t just apply to people in the hood though, this way of life is a global issue and you’ll find it anywhere you find poverty.

Somewhere during their 8 – 12 years in school, there needs to be a class that teaches children of all color how to responsibly handle money. These kids get out of school and just lose their mind when they get paid. I have a pimp friend who never gives his bitches all their money. I asked him why once and he told me that if he did, the bitches would kill themselves trying to spend the money on drugs or whatever. He said if he gave one of his bitches $500, she would be dead in 2 days. He himself went on to build a small empire only to have it all swept out from under him and locked up for 2 years (and some change) for various charges related to prostitution and promoting prostitution. Damn shame.

I guess you really can’t teach a Sneetch.

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Looter Guy

03 October 2005 by dwb

Looter Guy! I have not laughed this hard in a long time. This guy was one of the looters in New Orleans and this photo hit the internetz and within hours, 100’s of new pics of him have been created.

If this cat isn’t the greasiest, nappiest, funkiest ass black man on the planet, I don’t know who is. Off all the things to be looting, he chooses beer. He even has one in his back pocket. Maybe Looter Guy and Kincade are related? Hmmmmmm.

Looter Guy even has a website. Check it out here.

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Bombings in Bali

02 October 2005 by dwb

Well, there goes my planned trip to Bali this winter. 22 Dead, 50 injured. This is the 2nd attack in 3 years, the first being in October 2002.

I think the world is being too easy on countries who harbor terrorist. The “Axis Of Evil” countries. Call me crude, but we (or someone) should give these shit holes 48 hours to deport all terrorists and extremist from their country or we will kindly remove the country in question from the map. We have an asshole for a president who is willing to fight this “war on terror” and I think he is just the prick to get the job done. Everyone already hates him, why not go out hated AND be known as the man who stomped out terrorism.

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Pretty Little Latinas 32

01 October 2005 by dwb

These guys work fast. I’m just home a few days and still wiping the shit from my pants from the police raid and they sent me the cover already of Pretty Little Latinas 32.

Sweet!

This video line is one of the hottest Latin lines out there IMHO, mostly shot in Brazil until now. We are very happy to be part of this series and take it to new countries.

We’re thinking about hitting Peru next. Gotta consult with Kincade and see what the great Oracle says. Or maybe we’ll just stick to Asia for a while.

This DVD hits the streets in 3 weeks, make sure you pick it up so our arrest was not in vain.

You can order direct by hitting them up here: Third World Media

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Airports to seize porn?

29 September 2005 by dwb

I’m home 1 day and I read this. Things are getting WAY out of hand. They need to be worried about extremist trying to high-jack planes and not jack off material that is being carried INTO the USA. What is happening to this country?

Follow this link for the full story.

I wish them the best of luck trying to identify what obscenity or “normal pornography” is right there at the airport. “Normal pornography” for me is when 2 Asian girls are pissing on each other while getting fucked my multiple black men. So “normal pornography” is relative.

It does say on the customs form that “obscene material is GENERALLY prohibited” and I have used that argument many times when they have searched me and found my porn. So far no problems. Only time will see how far these ass hats will go. My guess is, they will go as far as they can and then go a little further. We’ll all let them do it and then complain along the way.

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Safe, sound and swollen

28 September 2005 by dwb

As you can see, my last couple blog entries have been a little insane. We have had our share of police and guns and are now taking a long needed break, safe and sound in the good ‘ol USA.

Of all my times of traveling I have never missed the USA and most times dreaded the idea of returning home. After such a hellish trip to Colombia, I actually missed this place and as a joke when I got off the plane I bent down to literally kiss the ground, thankful to be on US soil.

The funny thing is that I had on a very heavy backpack and when I bent over it shifted forward hitting me in the head and pushing my face quickly into the ground. I spent the rest of the night with ice on my nose and lips trying to reduce the swelling. Ahhhh… home sweet home. America – Fuck ya!

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Busted

26 September 2005 by dwb

I knew this was going to happen the moment we met that little fucking Pimp kid. Even while trying to do the right thing and not work with him, the little fucker showed up the next day at our hotel with a few girls (who were over 18) in an attempt to pimp them out. Apparently he knew the taxi driver we were using and he brought that little fucker right back to us.

Here is a rough play by play of what happened.

At around 7:30am someone was knocking on my door. I’m naked, dazed and pissed off, but I get, turn on a light, wrap a towel around my bottom and walk over to open the hotel door. The moment I cracked it open, the force from the other side pushed it open as fast as they could. Within an instant, I was on the ground with what feels like boots on my neck, arms and legs, rendering me totally unmovable. There was fast, loud shouting in Spanish and I could see the barrels of a few large machine guns pointing at my head. Oh… my… God. I’m I being kidnapped? Is this the police? Am I going to die? All thoughts racing through my mind at a million miles a second. I came as close to shitting in my pants as a person can get, without actually shitting in their pants.

Colombian police raided our two hotel rooms SWAT style. About 20 military police and 5 or 6 more plain clothed special agents woke us up and turned our rooms upside down. Every pocket, every bag and every pillow case was checked as well as our computers and all our mini DVs that we had been shooting on.

During the process, we had no idea what was going on. After they slowed their speech down, I was able to understand they were there for the pornos and they left it at that.

We had two rooms, Derrick and I in one room, Kincade and Sand in the other. All the gear and mini DVs were in Kincade’s room, and the computer was in my room.

About 20 minutes after the raid on my room the phone rings. It’s kincade.

Kincade: Dude, are the police in your room?
Me: Yup.
Kincade: We’re fucked man.
Me: Did they find the camera?
Kincade: Yup. But they can’t figure out how to turn it on.
Me: Good, don’t show them. They will never figure it out.
Kincade: OK. You know Sand has weed, right?
Me: I do now. Yea, we’re fucked.
Kincade: I’ll call you back.
Me: OK, keep your cool. We’ll work through this.

20 minutes later my phone rings again.

Kincade: Dude, they figured out the camera and are watching the movies.
Me: Fuck!
Kincade: No worries though, the weed is hidden.
Me: OK, check back later.

About 30 minutes later, the phone rings yet again.

Kincade: They found the weed.
Me: That’s the good news I was looking for.
Kincade: See you at the jail boss.
Me: Yup.

After spending a few hours in the room, we were taken to a holding cell at the station.

We spent the next three days there. It was the longest three days of my life. No word of what the charges were. No phone calls allowed. No nothing.

On the last day, they come to the cell, open the door and tell us we are free to go. WTF!?!?

As it turns out, Colombia has a huge problem with pedophiles and people shooting child porn. When the pimp showed up at our hotel uninvited, the manager called the police as I’m sure it looked suspicious why a boy was coming to our hotel room with girls, who even though were over 18, they looked young.

The police came for us thinking we were fucking with kids. Of course we were not but they didn’t know that. They did a full investigation that took three days to confirm we were only shooting porn with legal models. Once they knew we were legit and their investigation was complete, they let us go but kept our gear. I was told we will get it back later but I’m not going to hold my breath on that one. Truth be told, I could care less, I have my freedom. The police didn’t give a shit about the weed, but kept it anyway.

I thought we were locked with the key tossed away, but they later said they could care less about the girls we had shot as long as they were of legal age. They were only there looking for pedophiles or child pornographers, which we are not, so we were free. They said shooting legal models there was not a problem, but I’ve had my fair share of fun in Cali, Colombia and it’s time to move on.

As we walk out of the station, Kincade turns to me and says, “where to now boss?” I didn’t know if he was just that hardcore or if he didn’t really fully understand the situation we were in. Either way, he’s a fucking Storm Trooper.

This was the 2nd most scary moment of my life. The 1st was in Venezuela a few years ago with my brother when we were taken off a bus in the Andes mountains (on the Colombia / Venezuela border) at gun point by guerrillas. They took all the men off the bus, lined us up and pointed guns at us while the leader checked our documents. It was without a doubt a shit your pants moment. In the end they let us all go but until we were put back on the bus, I thought death was just around the corner.

I think I’m going to check Colombia off my list of countries to shoot in. Eh, maybe not. What are the odds of this happening again? Right?

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Kids pimping kids

21 September 2005 by dwb

Derrick just flew in and we have been on the grind looking for a few DVD “box cover” type girls to shoot. We ended up by mistake in this scary, and I mean SCARY town about an hour or so out of the city where it is 100% black people. I’m talking purple blacks left over from the slave days. It wasn’t scary because it was full of blacks, it was scary because… well, it was dark and you couldn’t see them in the shadows, but you knew they were there looking at us because we were probably the only non-blacks to enter this little town in 50 years. I’d bet most of them have never even seen a white guy, until now.

Then they started surrounding us as if we had fallen from the sky. It was very creepy and a bit scary. As far as we knew, they were cannibals and dinner was just delivered.

We were told about a small bar in town where the whores were so off we went to do what we do. We pulled up to the place and I shit you not the translation of the name meant “The Little Monkeys.” Now, I don’t care who you are, that’s funny. How is anyone going to name a bar in a 100% black town anything to do with monkeys? That’s so wrong you can’t help but laugh. You can bet if there was a white man who came through this town before us, he owns that bar.

Anyhoo… it was time to move on and we got about 10 minutes outside of this little black town and was pulled over by the military police for a random check. Here in Colombia they do this all the time but tonight it was a small unit (10 – 15 guys) with HUGE machine guns, full camouflage outfits and war like face paint. It was very intimidating. This was our 3rd shake down in 3 days so we knew the drill… out of the car slowly, smile, they search you then the car, check your ID and your on the way. Only this time, dip shit Derrick didn’t have any ID on him so you can guess what happened next.

The military police told him it was illegal to travel without it within the country, and it is. They said he had to stay there while I went to get the passport. If I did not come back with it, he was going to jail. Being the smart gringo that I was I tried to bribe the main guy and all hell broke loose as I offended him. We later found out that this hard ass loves his job and has spent the last 17 years (count ‘em) living IN THE JUNGLE fighting militant groups and drug lords. He claims was one of the guys who brought down Pablo Escobar and has also trained in the USA with the Green Berets. 100% total bad ass, and I pissed him off. He could have killed me with his stare alone. In fact, I’d wager a lot of money that this dude could beat the shit out of Chuck Norris with one hand tied behind his back. Yea, he’s that big of a bad ass. At least he looks like one and talks the talk.

So after Sand cooled him down I was off to get the passport and it all worked out fine. 2 hours later we were off to the next town a little shaken from these guys. I don’t frighten easy and I was scared.

Once we got to the next small town we were in search of this Pimp everyone was telling us about. Word on the street is that this cat has the line on all the girls on town and was THE MAN to talk to. After an hour of searching for him, we found him. This “pimp” was only 15 years old and gay. This little boy was a fucking Pimp!!! Unreal. After we confirmed his girls were over the age of 18, I was still a little nervous about dealing with this dude, and went against my gut feeling, and off we went. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Regardless of what he said about his girls being over 18, he took us to meet about 20 girls and all but 2 were underage, some as young as 13. It was sad and heartbreaking to see such young girls for sale. We told him they all needed to be 18 and above, but there is no talking to a pimp of any age it seems. They never listen. Kids pimping kids… what has the world come to?

Apparently this town, which will go unnamed for obvious reasons, is the mecca for child prostitution and a 15 year old gay kid runs it all. Just when you think you have seen and heard it all, something like this comes along and leaves you speechless. When I was 15 I was skateboarding and jacking off in the basement of my parents house while looking at the Sears Catalog bra section. I can’t fathom running whores at that age. So sad.

Knowing the potential for a dangerous situation, we humored the guy for a little while and then went on our way. There are some things I will not be a part of and this is one of them.

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South American Pimps

20 September 2005 by dwb

Sadly, all of us in the industry deal with pimps for talent some time or another. It may be the person running the “model agency”, a boyfriend or sometimes a real pimp that owns the girls and controls their every move. No, I’m not talking about Tera Patrick’s husband Evan (who’s a pretty decent guy), I’m talking about REAL PIMPS, not wanna be pimps. I’m talking about Pimps that will smack the taste out of your mouth and shank you if you cross him.

Now we’re in Cali, Colombia and in a few hours I am meeting with a Colombian pimp to see his selection of girls. If I am lucky 2 or 3 of them will be cute enough to shoot and this pimp will not become a pain in my ass and cause problems. Many of the guys running girls in this city are also connected with a drug cartel so it’s one of those delicate situations where you don’t want to find yourself stepping on any shoes or you very well may end up floating in a river somewhere. Hey, this is Colombia, shit like that happens.

I have dealt with pimps all over the world at one time or another and nothing makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up more than the Pimps here. Some of them are just down right scary. I don’t like guns and don’t I like guys who will use them on me even more. Maybe I should just send Sand and Kincade to deal with this guy today. What’s the worst that could happen? Heh.

Yea, I’m scum. I know. Being a “good guy” didn’t pay the bills.

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Goat meat is the answer

19 September 2005 by dwb

I love to eat almost as much as I love to fuck. Almost. Not just any food that you put in front of me, but BAD food. Chocolate, pizza, French fries, ice cream… pretty much everything that will give me a heart attack.

For the past 4 weeks I have been living on shit food. Mostly pizza and chocolate bars because the food in Colombia is just horrible. You can only eat so much chicken and beef before you snap. The smell of these two meats make me want to vomit right now. I have eaten at least 100 birds and a few cows on this trip, I’m sure of it.

Maybe goat meat is the answer? I started drinking warm goat milk the other day it to be honest with you, it wasn’t that bad. Kind of thick, but really not bad. That reminds me, we have been trying to get Kincade to drink cow milk straight from the tit for a case of beer. That fucker will do just about anything for beer but for some reason he wont suck a cows tit. Go figure.

I hear there is a waffle restaurant somewhere in the city and that’s going to be my mission for today. A Belgium waffle with ice cream and strawberries on it. I’ve got 83% wood just thinking about it.

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Maybe it’s time to become a vegetarian.

Leave a comment | Categories: Colombia, On The Road, Random Photos, Thinking Out Loud | Tags: , ,

Full Metal Chaqueta

18 September 2005 by dwb

You have not lived until you’ve watched Full Metal Jacket in Spanish with someone who speaks Spanish and has never seen the movie before.

We’re in the hotel watching this classic flick and after the beginning where Sargent Gunnery Hartman is finished screaming bloody murder at the new recruits, Sand turns to me with a total dazed look on his face and says, “whoa man, I never hear someone talk so bad in all my life.” LOL It was classic. I wish I had a photo of his face.

If you’ve never seen this epic movie in English, check this clip out:

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