Skull fucked by a ladyboy!
by dwbAs predicted, things got way out of hand over here. Hicks was skull fucked by a Ladyboy tonight. I’m not sure where to go from here.
Tag Archives for: Chaos
What is this?
by dwbSeriously, what the fuck is going on here?
Does anyone know who made this or if there is more of it?
If porn at the airport is going to be seized, I’d love to be a fly on the wall when some weirdo comes through with an entire laptop full of crazy shit like this.
Safe, sound and swollen
by dwbAs you can see, my last couple blog entries have been a little insane. We have had our share of police and guns and are now taking a long needed break, safe and sound in the good ‘ol USA.
Of all my times of traveling I have never missed the USA and most times dreaded the idea of returning home. After such a hellish trip to Colombia, I actually missed this place and as a joke when I got off the plane I bent down to literally kiss the ground, thankful to be on US soil.
The funny thing is that I had on a very heavy backpack and when I bent over it shifted forward hitting me in the head and pushing my face quickly into the ground. I spent the rest of the night with ice on my nose and lips trying to reduce the swelling. Ahhhh… home sweet home. America – Fuck ya!
Bogota street justice
by dwbWhat a freakin’ night. As I walk out of the hotel Sand is getting robbed by 3 guys right on the street about 100 feet from the hotel door. He yells for me and the guys run when they see me coming. Not that I’m a scary dude but because the odds were no longer in their favor and they risk at least one of them being caught or hurt. Without even thinking if these guys had weapons or not and forgetting I’m in Colombia, I foolishly sprinted to his aid but two of them ran away as I charged, but one poor fucker was slow and we chased down and fucked him up.
While in Sao Paulo 2 years ago I met a guy who trained Military Police and other law officers hand to hand combat. He taught me a few simple moves to lock a person up by his wrist and arm, pin him down and keep him from moving. He made me do it over and over and over so I would never forget it and tonight, two years later I used it on this guy while Sand beat the living dog piss out of him for 3 or 4 minutes until the policia showed up. The whole time Sand is yelling for me to break his arm, and caught in the moment, I put all my weight on his wrist that was bent back to break it, but it wouldn’t fucking break! This dude is superman or something. Sand is BEATING HIS ASS and I’m trying to break his arm with all my might and the guy is just taking it all. Jacked up on some drug I’m sure, but fuck, his arm should still break.
The police arrive.
They cuffed this scum bag while I had him pinned and all the while Sand kept punching him in the face and the police did nothing to stop it. Finally, after wearing down, Sand takes a break and the cops toss the guy up against a wall, hands cuffed behind his back, and sit him up. They then take their night stick and stick it to his throat and start choking the guy! So here we are, right in the middle of Bogota, watching police choking a guy to death! Then, out of nowhere, the other cop starts kicking the guy in the face while the other cop is choking him! WHAT THE FUCK!
The dirt bag just starts to drift to sleep and they stop. They’ve done this before it seems. They choke him to the point of passing out and then stop. Then kick his ass some more before tossing him in the back of a police pick-up truck.
Sand walk up again while the guy is in the back of the truck and started nailing him some more while the cops did nothing. This poor guy literally got the living shit beat out of him.
The police let us go to the station with them to file the paperwork and we got to ride in the truck with the criminal while the cops still smacked him around a bit and Sand took a few cheap shots along the way.
We filed the papers and then the cops wanted to know what I thought about Michael Jackson, Katrina and Colombian women. Huh?
We took them out to a 24 hour chicken joint and got the skinny on some more quality whore houses in town. They also told us that if I would of snapped his arm the way I had him pinned, I would of spent AT LEAST 4 months in jail here. Shit. Thank God that guys arm didn’t break then. Talk about a uber backfire.
Word to the wise, don’t get caught robbing anyone in Bogota and don’t break any bones of the guy who is robbing you. Let the police do it for you.
Caverject – OMG
by dwbWhile picking up some “Postnior2” pills for a girl that Kincade shot his load in by mistake, we saw Caverject sitting there in the pharmacy fridge. It was cheap so we flipped for who was going to test it out. Of course Kincade lost and was the poor fucker to try out this erection shot. Truth be told, there was NO WAY I would of done this even if I would of lost the coin toss.
The fact that a perfectly good cock, and I don’t mean that in a gay way, is about to be injected with this stuff to make it even harder, boggles the mind. But hey, that’s how you gotta roll when you’re driving on Heathens Highway.
Ta-daa! Wood that could cut wood. Brilliant!
From what I’ve heard a lot of guys back in LA are using this shit to keep their cocks hard on the set. Why? If you ask me, if you NEED this to get wood, you don’t need to be in the business.
The Donkey Fucker
by dwbAs promised, here are some pics of Donkey Fucker #1. The O.G. of Donkey Fuckers. Coma burra numbro uno. “Fucking Rad” are the only words that comes to mind when describing the O.G. of Donkey fuckers.
Seriously, this guy was so creepy and bad ass at the same time, I wanted to put him on the payroll. He belongs with us. I’m gonna keep him for as long as he’s willing to stay. Any man who will raw dog a donkey is OK in my book. My gut instinct says you could trust a guy like this.
These guys came to worship The Donkey Fucker. I don’t blame them. If it wasn’t such a common thing in this area of Colombia, I’m sure they would come by the 1000s to get a glimpse of this madness.
Many of you have friends who do dumb shit. Maybe one of them can drink a bucket of beer through his nose or something, and maybe one is a good fighter or can break down a car engine in record time. But nobody holds a candle to a grown man who repeatedly fucks baby donkeys with a smile on his face. I think this is even discussed in the Bible somewhere. Look it up.
Kincade has The Squirts!
by dwbAs I type this, Kincade sits on the shitter with brown water spewing from both ends. It’s not pretty. Poor guy drank the water or something and is now paying the cost. We had to scrap a shoot last night when it started. About 12 minutes into the scene and he gets up and makes a full sprint to the bathroom where Exorcist style vomiting took place out of both holes. It was epic.
Needless to say, I feel sorry for the fella so I’m going to post a few photos from the shoot a few days ago when we was in better health.
Out of control
by dwbI’m going to give you the cliff notes on this one because it sickens me to talk about it. Some crazy shit is going on south of the border in the land of coffee and cocaine. Well, the land of coffee, cocaine, weed, raw pussy, guns, guns, more guns and donkey fuckers. Couldn’t get any better, right?
Well, my friend here in Colombia hooked up with another guy who is gay and was (past tense) helping us find some trannys to shoot. Apparently a few days before we meet this dick head he rapes a 13 year old deaf boy at knife point. Then he goes on with his life as if nothing happened.
So the police have been looking for this guy and when someone finally notices him, guess where he just happens to be and who with? Bingo! You can imagine the rest of the story. Ill just say its not a pretty one. I hope they cut this fuckers balls off. You can picture the scene for such a raid and the hell that broke loose when it happened. I’m surprised we all didn’t get shot just for being with the guy.
Gay child molesters, donkey fucking brothers, transsexuals, pornos, drugs… I think I need to change countries before shit really gets out of hand. We’re WAY over the line on this trip. I’m pretty sure one of us won’t even make it back.
Donkey Fucking Brothers
by dwbYou know your going to have a crazy day when your friend wakes you up with, “hey dude, wake up… I just got off the phone with the tranny… we gotta go” and then leaves the room and leaves behind the smell of home grown Colombian sticky. My interest was peaked.
I spent my day riding around in a taxi with my friend, 2 transsexuals and a cab driver who fucks donkeys (“Coma Burra”). Yea, you read that right. Keep reading. See, here in Colombia some people think that if you have sex with a female baby donkey, you will get a large cock when you grow up. Uh-huh. So some country boys here fuck donkeys and our taxi driver just happened to be one of these guys, as is his brother, who we renamed, “Coma Burra dos.” I wish I could make this up but I couldn’t event dream of something so insane.
Hunter Thompson has a quote, “You don’t find acid. Acid finds you when it thinks you’re ready for it.”
Applying that to “crazy situations” I have to believe the same applies. Just swap out the word “acid” for “crazy situations.” You don’t find crazy situations. Crazy situations find you when it thinks you’re ready for one.
OK… where was I? Ah yes… Donkey fuckers.
“Coma Burra” means Donkey Fucker in Spanish. The brothers are from this day to be addressed as “donkey fucker 1″ and “donkey fucker 2.” You can say it in English or Spanish, it doesn’t matter. And why doesn’t it matter? BECAUSE THEY FUCK BABY DONKEYS!!!!! Nothing matters from this point on. In fact, nothing may ever matter again.
DF1 and DF2 are so open about it that it’s creepy, but we are still using them every day as our personal drivers and somehow, in some odd way, there is a bond taking place. Maybe we need D1 and D2 and maybe they need us. Is it possible the universe brought us all together as fate? No fucking idea, I’m high as fuck right now and tripping balls on the fact that these two dudes fuck baby donkeys and I’m going to roll with THEM.
I’ll post pics in a day or two of donkey fucker 1. BTW, donkey fucker 1 is married and STILL likes to fuck the young donkeys. He said baby donkey pussy is better than a real womans pussy. Hmmmmm. Sounds like a trap in the making to me.
So here we are in the barrios where people are riding horses and donkeys around and with me, my Colombian dope smoking friend, two 1/2 dressed transsexuals and a donkey fucker who is wearing a ball hat that says “criminals” on it. We’re driving around on dirt roads in some of the scariest places known to man, looking for girls and trannys to make pornos. Glorious. I have a moment of clarity here and decide at this very moment, the universe is as it should be. We’re going to move forward.
At this stage, all we needed were a few teenage schoolgirls and some hard drugs and we would of been set. Well, one of the trannys had some coke but I don’t touch that shit. Not here, in the middle of the craziest group of people I’ve ever been surrounded by in my life. I’ll pass this time. So then I guess all we needed were some little girls and it would of iced the cake of insanity. Today has been insane my friends. Just insane.