Tag Archives for: Hollywood

Team America – Backstage

08 March 2006 by dwb

Team America… Fuck ya!

I have a friend who just happens to know the cats who made the puppets for Team America. So while we were out for lunch, we stopped by and low and behold, there hung the Team America puppets. Very cool.

Without hesitation we went for the females and molested them, taking these pics along the way. This is all I’ll show of the molestation unless there is interest to see naked puppet bodies. But then I’d wonder about what kind of a sick fuck would want to watch us molest puppets. That could make things funny between us so lets just leave it here.

We played with these things for hours, recreating scenes from the movie and laughing until we cried, pissed, and then cried some more.

Enjoy the pics.

Leave a comment | Categories: And Now You Know, Pure Awesomeness, Random Photos | Tags: America - Fuck yea!, Hollywood, Puppets, Team America

Hollywood crack motel

02 March 2006 by dwb

11:12am – Someone starts banging at my door at the crack hotel I’m staying in. Since I did not go to sleep until 7am, there had better be news of death or world destruction when I open it.

I was close, it was the Indian that was put on this earth to make my life in LA a living hell.

This twinkle toed cock sucker tells me that my “time is up” and that I needed to “take a break” and come back tomorrow. When he first told me this was going to happen 6 days ago I thought he was joking just to get a rise out of me. It turns out he was a serious as a case of dick cancer.

So I’m standing butt ass naked in the doorway of this shitty place trying to explain to this odd looking person that it is a motel and that motels make money by filling them to capacity as often as they can. Since I was literally the only person staying in the hotel for the past few days, I then went into detail explaining to him how poorly they conducted business.

It all fell of deaf ears because second I was done speaking, he told me to give him the key and he would see me tomorrow.

I laughed and tried to explain to him that once I leave and check into another place, I will not be returning. His reply was “very well, I will see you tomorrow then” and then walked of with the key.

After watching him wobble away, I packed up, left, and moved to another crack hotel down the street which is also operated by Indians. Just all part of the cosmic joke I guess. If they start with me, I will shit all over the room and move to the Extended Stay 20 minutes away.

Right about now you are wondering, “why in the fuck is he staying in crack motels?”

The answer is simple. I can sleep anywhere, and these crack motels just happen to be a one minute drive from our office. To stay in a nicer place, I would have to drive 20 minutes, which is not a big deal in the afternoon, but after you’ve been working all day and night, the last thing I want to do is drive any distance at 5am as I’m falling asleep. If I only use the room to shit, shower, shave, and sleep, it serves it purpose. But the Indians have to go.

The good news is, I believe a Motel 8 is being built just around the corner. I’m looking forward to staying there.

Hell is… trying to get a full eight hours sleep in an Indian owned crack motel.

Leave a comment | Categories: Hell Is:, Keepin It Real, On The Road | Tags: Crack Motels, Hollywood, Los Angeles

Crack hotel blues

24 February 2006 by dwb

As I mentioned before, I’m staying at a crack hotel in North Hollywood. Not that I can’t afford a better place, well maybe I can’t, but its right down the street from where I am working 18 hour days getting these new sites and affiliate program off the ground.

The Indians who run my hotel are fucking with me almost daily. The will only let me pay for two days at a time and then call me at 11am to come down to pay more on the third day, after I did not go to bed until 6 or 7am and have asked them repeatedly to not bother me until 3pm. I spoke to the manager and he said he would let me pay one week at a time now, so today that is what I attempted to do.

I told the Indian working there that I was going to stay for two more weeks now because my job was taking longer than planned. He told me with a straight face that I can not stay for two consecutive weeks and that I could only stay for one week, then I would have to check out for one full day and then come back the next day to stay the second week.

He didn’t look like he was fucking with me, but anything is possible. It’s hard to trust a guy who is talking to you and at the same time his head is moving like a wobble doll.

I’m already aggravated with these people so I just say “OK” and try to pay for the week. Not so fast! He will only let me pay for six days and not the full week! That’s a day short for those of you with a learning disability.

Maybe he is fucking with me.

It’s too close to the office and I am too lazy to change hotels right this minute, so if I don’t murder him, I’m going to have to put up with his shit.

One thing that I have been doing, since he has been terrorizing me, is every morning when I roll in around 6 or 7am and he is still sleeping in the office, I wake him up. I make up an excuse to need him. Toilet paper, soap, towels… what ever. I just wake that asshole up every chance I get for the non-sense he is putting me through.

I wish I had my camera with me or I would show you some pics of this shit hole and the numb nut Indians running the joint.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I may kill him tonight. I’ll let you know how it works out.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, On The Road, Thinking Out Loud, What The Fuck | Tags: Crack Motels, Hollywood, Los Angeles

Taco Bell ass wiper

18 February 2006 by dwb

We were at Taco Bell tonight, eating healthy like we always do, and this old guy walks up to us and comments on how cold it was.

He looked like he could be homeless, insane at the very least. Whatever he was, he was one of “those” guys.

We acknowledge his comment with a friendly nod and he starts to walk away, ripping a very loud, wet fart as he does. It stops him dead in his tracks.

So there we are waiting on our food, and this guy who just sharted, walks up to the counter, grabs some napkins and wipes his shitty ass right there in front of everyone. He looks at the napkin, sees the shit, then tosses it in the trash bin. Fucking nasty ass old crazy fuck.

I don’t know which is more disturbing, the fact that he just shit himself and wiped his ass in front of everyone, or the fact that nobody seemed to care that he did.

Speaking of nasty fucks, I have been staying at a crack motel. I have been there a week now and I have yet to have my room cleaned, get a new towl or a new roll of toilet paper. The room is complete with full, beat up 1960’s decor. It makes want to hit the pipe and bang street whores. I don’t actually smoke crack, but I will fuck whores in this motel, no doubt about it.

Leave a comment | Categories: Keepin It Real, On The Road, What The Fuck | Tags: Crack Hotels, Crazy People, Fast Food, Hollywood, Los Angeles, Whores