Sometimes I make porn and stuff. Sometimes I just ramble.
When dudes are uploading tube videos of themselves beating off to your videos, you can pat yourself on the back and bask in the sweet warm glow of success.
I’m not going to watch this guy rub one off to find out, but if any of you do and he shoots his load on his screen, please post a comment here about it. It would bring Kincade great joy to know his face was covered in man juice.
I was going to post this the other night when I found it, but thought it may bring bad luck.
Seems they have already dug shallow graves for Mr. Kincade and I along side Beach Road at the entrance of Walking Street.
Not sure what we did exactly, but rumor has it this has something to do with John’s cat and his blog.
We shot a crazy bitch today who would not stop sniffing one of those menthol things. “yaa-dom” is what they call it. I don’t know if that’s the right way to spell it, but that is how it’s pronounced.
What a pain in the ass this whore was. She would not put on the clothes I set out for her because she simply did not like the colors.
The shoes were “too tall” for her, the shirt “too tight,” Kincades cock as “too big,” the lights were “too hot”… non fucking stop bitching from this dirt bag street whore.
At least we got the job done and she left with a cunt full of spunk.
Mr. Kincade tore up another one tonight. Her name is “Ice” and she left the shoot not a happy camper.
He roughed her up more than she liked, even though she said she liked it rough. Then he blasted her in the eye and gave her red eye. Very romantic.
I have a new guy that we need to break in. He is an Aussie and has never shot anything before, so my fingers are crossed that he will work out.
John T Bone is also here shooting right now and has some Brazilian boys who fuck like cave newts but they are also sucking off ladyboys and taking it in the ass. They swing both ways and fuck pretty hard so I may use them for a few shoots.
We found this skinny Thai girl at 7-11 buying a pack of gum and a sucker. It was almost too good to be true so after pinching Mr. Kincade on the nipple, I moved in for the kill.
Of course she was down to leave with us because lets face it… I have serious game. OK, so I don’t have game, but I do know how to sweet talk a hooker into getting in front of my lens… CASH!!!
Mr. Kincade broke her. This is documented on the video. I had to give her a head massage once when she had to stop because his big white cock was causing so much pain. Yea, she’s that tiny.
Kincaded finally blasted a HUGE load on her face and she took it like a champ, red eye and all. Even though we had to take a few breaks to let her work out the pain, the scene turned out OK. She’s so cute and little, it would have been hard to mess this one up.
Now she’s in my bed snuggled up to my hairy monkey leg while I make this post.
It’s been so long since I worked with a real girl that I totally forgot how big a PAIN IN THE ASS they could be sometimes.
Freakin’ lazy ass dirt bags. All they have to do is get fucked, but I guess it’s too much effort to lay on their back and open their legs.
There is nothing worse than a lazy whore.
Well, maybe a broke pimp with no hoes, but a lazy whore is a solid runner up.
BTW… did I mention Kincade is back in town? He WRECKED this lazy bitch. Atta boy! The worst thing one of these fuck holes can do is get lazy on Mr K and he will unleash holy hell on them.
Well, he didn’t technically have a baby, don’t be fucking stupid, but he did father one.
He stopped by today to show off his son. I think he takes after his mamma.
What do you think?
I knew this was going to happen the moment we met that little fucking Pimp kid. Even while trying to do the right thing and not work with him, the little fucker showed up the next day at our hotel with a few girls (who were over 18) in an attempt to pimp them out. Apparently he knew the taxi driver we were using and he brought that little fucker right back to us.
Here is a rough play by play of what happened.
At around 7:30am someone was knocking on my door. I’m naked, dazed and pissed off, but I get, turn on a light, wrap a towel around my bottom and walk over to open the hotel door. The moment I cracked it open, the force from the other side pushed it open as fast as they could. Within an instant, I was on the ground with what feels like boots on my neck, arms and legs, rendering me totally unmovable. There was fast, loud shouting in Spanish and I could see the barrels of a few large machine guns pointing at my head. Oh… my… God. I’m I being kidnapped? Is this the police? Am I going to die? All thoughts racing through my mind at a million miles a second. I came as close to shitting in my pants as a person can get, without actually shitting in their pants.
Colombian police raided our two hotel rooms SWAT style. About 20 military police and 5 or 6 more plain clothed special agents woke us up and turned our rooms upside down. Every pocket, every bag and every pillow case was checked as well as our computers and all our mini DVs that we had been shooting on.
During the process, we had no idea what was going on. After they slowed their speech down, I was able to understand they were there for the pornos and they left it at that.
We had two rooms, Derrick and I in one room, Kincade and Sand in the other. All the gear and mini DVs were in Kincade’s room, and the computer was in my room.
About 20 minutes after the raid on my room the phone rings. It’s kincade.
Kincade: Dude, are the police in your room?
Me: Yup.
Kincade: We’re fucked man.
Me: Did they find the camera?
Kincade: Yup. But they can’t figure out how to turn it on.
Me: Good, don’t show them. They will never figure it out.
Kincade: OK. You know Sand has weed, right?
Me: I do now. Yea, we’re fucked.
Kincade: I’ll call you back.
Me: OK, keep your cool. We’ll work through this.
20 minutes later my phone rings again.
Kincade: Dude, they figured out the camera and are watching the movies.
Me: Fuck!
Kincade: No worries though, the weed is hidden.
Me: OK, check back later.
About 30 minutes later, the phone rings yet again.
Kincade: They found the weed.
Me: That’s the good news I was looking for.
Kincade: See you at the jail boss.
Me: Yup.
After spending a few hours in the room, we were taken to a holding cell at the station.
We spent the next three days there. It was the longest three days of my life. No word of what the charges were. No phone calls allowed. No nothing.
On the last day, they come to the cell, open the door and tell us we are free to go. WTF!?!?
As it turns out, Colombia has a huge problem with pedophiles and people shooting child porn. When the pimp showed up at our hotel uninvited, the manager called the police as I’m sure it looked suspicious why a boy was coming to our hotel room with girls, who even though were over 18, they looked young.
The police came for us thinking we were fucking with kids. Of course we were not but they didn’t know that. They did a full investigation that took three days to confirm we were only shooting porn with legal models. Once they knew we were legit and their investigation was complete, they let us go but kept our gear. I was told we will get it back later but I’m not going to hold my breath on that one. Truth be told, I could care less, I have my freedom. The police didn’t give a shit about the weed, but kept it anyway.
I thought we were locked with the key tossed away, but they later said they could care less about the girls we had shot as long as they were of legal age. They were only there looking for pedophiles or child pornographers, which we are not, so we were free. They said shooting legal models there was not a problem, but I’ve had my fair share of fun in Cali, Colombia and it’s time to move on.
As we walk out of the station, Kincade turns to me and says, “where to now boss?” I didn’t know if he was just that hardcore or if he didn’t really fully understand the situation we were in. Either way, he’s a fucking Storm Trooper.
This was the 2nd most scary moment of my life. The 1st was in Venezuela a few years ago with my brother when we were taken off a bus in the Andes mountains (on the Colombia / Venezuela border) at gun point by guerrillas. They took all the men off the bus, lined us up and pointed guns at us while the leader checked our documents. It was without a doubt a shit your pants moment. In the end they let us all go but until we were put back on the bus, I thought death was just around the corner.
I think I’m going to check Colombia off my list of countries to shoot in. Eh, maybe not. What are the odds of this happening again? Right?
After having such a bad run of luck with the T-girls, we took a couple of days off and did some sight seeing. We wanted to get as far away from city people and chaos as possible, so after 5 military check-points and a few hours of driving, we were deep into the mountains in a sleepy mountain town that was freezing cold and drizzling rain. Cobble stone roads, small buildings and no white people. It was perfect.
We picked up some new threads today to blend in with the locals. Now we are so fly we can’t keep the mountain bitches off of us.
While picking up some “Postnior2” pills for a girl that Kincade shot his load in by mistake, we saw Caverject sitting there in the pharmacy fridge. It was cheap so we flipped for who was going to test it out. Of course Kincade lost and was the poor fucker to try out this erection shot. Truth be told, there was NO WAY I would of done this even if I would of lost the coin toss.
The fact that a perfectly good cock, and I don’t mean that in a gay way, is about to be injected with this stuff to make it even harder, boggles the mind. But hey, that’s how you gotta roll when you’re driving on Heathens Highway.
Ta-daa! Wood that could cut wood. Brilliant!
From what I’ve heard a lot of guys back in LA are using this shit to keep their cocks hard on the set. Why? If you ask me, if you NEED this to get wood, you don’t need to be in the business.
There is a new song by Sean Paul called “We Be Burnin’.”
This is our new theme song. Sand and Kincade are thanking their Gods for Zithromax right now.
My old man used to say, “Son, it’s all fun and games until you’re pissing razor blades.”
Muahahahahahaha!!!!!!
All is well on this beautiful night until this tool wants to toss a beer can out of the window of the taxi. I personally hate litter bugs and apparently so do the Colombian police because they pulled us over at 2am and we all pointed them right to Kincade. “He did it!”
They searched the entire car, looked at all my gear and even picked up the mini DV tapes of the days shoots but didn’t know what they were so they just cuffed Kincade as we laughed at him. I paid the cops $5 to let me take some pics, they were happy to ham it up for me.
Kincade spent a day in the can until we went through the SLOW process of bailing him out. It cost $250 total which is nothing compared to the horrible night he spent in a Colombian jail cell. Serves him right.
So Kincade, tell us what it’s like on the inside of a Colombian jail. LOL Next time aim for the litter can, ya jack ass.
As I type this, Kincade sits on the shitter with brown water spewing from both ends. It’s not pretty. Poor guy drank the water or something and is now paying the cost. We had to scrap a shoot last night when it started. About 12 minutes into the scene and he gets up and makes a full sprint to the bathroom where Exorcist style vomiting took place out of both holes. It was epic.
Needless to say, I feel sorry for the fella so I’m going to post a few photos from the shoot a few days ago when we was in better health.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to hit the open road. Welcome to Heathens Highway!
This has been a long time coming but it was only recently that I had the time to get this blog up and running.
Coincidentally, we leave on another South American adventure in just 28 hours so I’m sure your going to get some great posts over the next 2 months as Mr. Kincade and I travel through Colombia shooting for my upcoming Latin site and the popular DVD series Pretty Little Latinas released by Third World Media, as well as a new DVD for Mr. X Productions (distributed by Pure Play Media) entitled Chocolate Chicas featuring black models from Latin America.
Everything has fallen into place for us recently so we are off to do what we do best, shoot hookers in foreign lands. We will be posting the good, the bad and the ugly here and giving it to you uncensored, the way it should be. My cock is throbbing just thinking about what incredible pussy awaits. I have such a thing for Latinas and black Latinas, it’s not healthy.
Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy the ride. Oh, one more thing, lets also remember that everything that has a beginning, also has an end. I don’t know where or when the road will end, but rest assured it will, and it won’t be pretty.
I’d buckle up if I were you.