$1 in unpaid taxes
by dwbA woman who lives but a few minutes from me was arrested today for not paying ONE DOLLAR ($1) in taxes. Unreal.
Tag Archives for: Police
Busted
by dwbI knew this was going to happen the moment we met that little fucking Pimp kid. Even while trying to do the right thing and not work with him, the little fucker showed up the next day at our hotel with a few girls (who were over 18) in an attempt to pimp them out. Apparently he knew the taxi driver we were using and he brought that little fucker right back to us.
Here is a rough play by play of what happened.
At around 7:30am someone was knocking on my door. I’m naked, dazed and pissed off, but I get, turn on a light, wrap a towel around my bottom and walk over to open the hotel door. The moment I cracked it open, the force from the other side pushed it open as fast as they could. Within an instant, I was on the ground with what feels like boots on my neck, arms and legs, rendering me totally unmovable. There was fast, loud shouting in Spanish and I could see the barrels of a few large machine guns pointing at my head. Oh… my… God. I’m I being kidnapped? Is this the police? Am I going to die? All thoughts racing through my mind at a million miles a second. I came as close to shitting in my pants as a person can get, without actually shitting in their pants.
Colombian police raided our two hotel rooms SWAT style. About 20 military police and 5 or 6 more plain clothed special agents woke us up and turned our rooms upside down. Every pocket, every bag and every pillow case was checked as well as our computers and all our mini DVs that we had been shooting on.
During the process, we had no idea what was going on. After they slowed their speech down, I was able to understand they were there for the pornos and they left it at that.
We had two rooms, Derrick and I in one room, Kincade and Sand in the other. All the gear and mini DVs were in Kincade’s room, and the computer was in my room.
About 20 minutes after the raid on my room the phone rings. It’s kincade.
Kincade: Dude, are the police in your room?
Me: Yup.
Kincade: We’re fucked man.
Me: Did they find the camera?
Kincade: Yup. But they can’t figure out how to turn it on.
Me: Good, don’t show them. They will never figure it out.
Kincade: OK. You know Sand has weed, right?
Me: I do now. Yea, we’re fucked.
Kincade: I’ll call you back.
Me: OK, keep your cool. We’ll work through this.
20 minutes later my phone rings again.
Kincade: Dude, they figured out the camera and are watching the movies.
Me: Fuck!
Kincade: No worries though, the weed is hidden.
Me: OK, check back later.
About 30 minutes later, the phone rings yet again.
Kincade: They found the weed.
Me: That’s the good news I was looking for.
Kincade: See you at the jail boss.
Me: Yup.
After spending a few hours in the room, we were taken to a holding cell at the station.
We spent the next three days there. It was the longest three days of my life. No word of what the charges were. No phone calls allowed. No nothing.
On the last day, they come to the cell, open the door and tell us we are free to go. WTF!?!?
As it turns out, Colombia has a huge problem with pedophiles and people shooting child porn. When the pimp showed up at our hotel uninvited, the manager called the police as I’m sure it looked suspicious why a boy was coming to our hotel room with girls, who even though were over 18, they looked young.
The police came for us thinking we were fucking with kids. Of course we were not but they didn’t know that. They did a full investigation that took three days to confirm we were only shooting porn with legal models. Once they knew we were legit and their investigation was complete, they let us go but kept our gear. I was told we will get it back later but I’m not going to hold my breath on that one. Truth be told, I could care less, I have my freedom. The police didn’t give a shit about the weed, but kept it anyway.
I thought we were locked with the key tossed away, but they later said they could care less about the girls we had shot as long as they were of legal age. They were only there looking for pedophiles or child pornographers, which we are not, so we were free. They said shooting legal models there was not a problem, but I’ve had my fair share of fun in Cali, Colombia and it’s time to move on.
As we walk out of the station, Kincade turns to me and says, “where to now boss?” I didn’t know if he was just that hardcore or if he didn’t really fully understand the situation we were in. Either way, he’s a fucking Storm Trooper.
This was the 2nd most scary moment of my life. The 1st was in Venezuela a few years ago with my brother when we were taken off a bus in the Andes mountains (on the Colombia / Venezuela border) at gun point by guerrillas. They took all the men off the bus, lined us up and pointed guns at us while the leader checked our documents. It was without a doubt a shit your pants moment. In the end they let us all go but until we were put back on the bus, I thought death was just around the corner.
I think I’m going to check Colombia off my list of countries to shoot in. Eh, maybe not. What are the odds of this happening again? Right?
Bogota street justice
by dwbWhat a freakin’ night. As I walk out of the hotel Sand is getting robbed by 3 guys right on the street about 100 feet from the hotel door. He yells for me and the guys run when they see me coming. Not that I’m a scary dude but because the odds were no longer in their favor and they risk at least one of them being caught or hurt. Without even thinking if these guys had weapons or not and forgetting I’m in Colombia, I foolishly sprinted to his aid but two of them ran away as I charged, but one poor fucker was slow and we chased down and fucked him up.
While in Sao Paulo 2 years ago I met a guy who trained Military Police and other law officers hand to hand combat. He taught me a few simple moves to lock a person up by his wrist and arm, pin him down and keep him from moving. He made me do it over and over and over so I would never forget it and tonight, two years later I used it on this guy while Sand beat the living dog piss out of him for 3 or 4 minutes until the policia showed up. The whole time Sand is yelling for me to break his arm, and caught in the moment, I put all my weight on his wrist that was bent back to break it, but it wouldn’t fucking break! This dude is superman or something. Sand is BEATING HIS ASS and I’m trying to break his arm with all my might and the guy is just taking it all. Jacked up on some drug I’m sure, but fuck, his arm should still break.
The police arrive.
They cuffed this scum bag while I had him pinned and all the while Sand kept punching him in the face and the police did nothing to stop it. Finally, after wearing down, Sand takes a break and the cops toss the guy up against a wall, hands cuffed behind his back, and sit him up. They then take their night stick and stick it to his throat and start choking the guy! So here we are, right in the middle of Bogota, watching police choking a guy to death! Then, out of nowhere, the other cop starts kicking the guy in the face while the other cop is choking him! WHAT THE FUCK!
The dirt bag just starts to drift to sleep and they stop. They’ve done this before it seems. They choke him to the point of passing out and then stop. Then kick his ass some more before tossing him in the back of a police pick-up truck.
Sand walk up again while the guy is in the back of the truck and started nailing him some more while the cops did nothing. This poor guy literally got the living shit beat out of him.
The police let us go to the station with them to file the paperwork and we got to ride in the truck with the criminal while the cops still smacked him around a bit and Sand took a few cheap shots along the way.
We filed the papers and then the cops wanted to know what I thought about Michael Jackson, Katrina and Colombian women. Huh?
We took them out to a 24 hour chicken joint and got the skinny on some more quality whore houses in town. They also told us that if I would of snapped his arm the way I had him pinned, I would of spent AT LEAST 4 months in jail here. Shit. Thank God that guys arm didn’t break then. Talk about a uber backfire.
Word to the wise, don’t get caught robbing anyone in Bogota and don’t break any bones of the guy who is robbing you. Let the police do it for you.
Fuckin’ Kincade
by dwbAll is well on this beautiful night until this tool wants to toss a beer can out of the window of the taxi. I personally hate litter bugs and apparently so do the Colombian police because they pulled us over at 2am and we all pointed them right to Kincade. “He did it!”
They searched the entire car, looked at all my gear and even picked up the mini DV tapes of the days shoots but didn’t know what they were so they just cuffed Kincade as we laughed at him. I paid the cops $5 to let me take some pics, they were happy to ham it up for me.
Kincade spent a day in the can until we went through the SLOW process of bailing him out. It cost $250 total which is nothing compared to the horrible night he spent in a Colombian jail cell. Serves him right.
So Kincade, tell us what it’s like on the inside of a Colombian jail. LOL Next time aim for the litter can, ya jack ass.