What The Fuck A Go-Go
by dwb
I was trolling behind Walking Street looking for a cutie to empty my sperm into when I noticed this on the door of one of the Go-Go I frequent.
I’ve been in here 100 times but never seen this until today. My guess is that I’ve never seen this because when you go at night there are always doormen out front opening and closing the door for you.
For Safety Of All
* No Video
* No Photo’s
* No Drugs
* No Lady’s Under 20
* No Guns
Smile Be Happy
What the fuck is going on here?
Lets break this down play by play…
* No Video & No Photo’s
I am a pornographer and a whore monger extreme. At any given moment I have some device on me to capture an event whether it be a terrorist attack on Soi Muslim, bar girl brawl, or my cock shoved into a hole it should not be in. To deny me of this right breaks my heart. I mean, how much fun can you really have if you can document it?
* No Drugs
Considering this is Pattaya, Thailand and 98% of their staff is on drugs, and has yaa-baa and ecstasy in their purse, this rule is just plain fucking stupid. Add that to the fact that 1/4 the guys in there are lit on something and you have yourself one stupid rule. Can you please define what you consider a drug? Is Viagra a drug, because if so you may as well shut the doors and kick out all the 60+ year old men in there with little girls on their laps.
* No Lady’s Under 20
As if I even need to get into this one, but the irony is… this is one of the ONLY bars in town that actually has girls who are underage! Yes, believe it! Most of girls here are not too shy to tell you they are 16 and 17 years old, yet the bar boasts no lady’s under 20. Give me a break. Just say nothing, don’t give me your shit about no lady’s under 20. Even if they were all 18 (and many of them are), the fact you say not under 20 is a wood killer. Who want’s to come to Thailand to bang a 20 year old when you can have one who just turned 18? Get with the program! And where is your icon? You have icons for the other rules but not this one? How about a pacifier or a lollipop in a circle with a line through it? Both great icons.
* No Guns
This is not Cambodia but Thai people are known to carry a gun from time to time. Unlike parts of Cambodia where you may encounter a sign on a door that reads, “NO GUNS, NO EXPLOSIVES, NO GRENADES,” Thailand does not have a huge problem with it. Regardless, what fun is South East Asia if you can’t carry a gun and a camera?
I was once caught in the middle of a back alley shoot out in Bogota, Colombia and to this day wish I would of had my camera phone to document it. That is one of those stories your friends just don’t believe without proof. Considering this Go-Go bar is located in the heart of Dirka-Dirka-ville (Muslim area), a camera is a good thing to have when Achmed decides to claim his 70 virgins in paradise.
* Smile And Be Happy
Go fuck yourself. I would be happy if you would allow me to enter your establishment armed with both my camera and a gun. Be true to yourself, admit your pimping kids and admit they are all hooked on drugs. Your dancers all have camera phones inside the bar and some of them probably have guns. Why you busting my balls? I just want to take photos of 18 year old whores smoking weed out of the barrel of my gun.
Is that too much to ask?