$1 in unpaid taxes
by dwbA woman who lives but a few minutes from me was arrested today for not paying ONE DOLLAR ($1) in taxes. Unreal.
Tag Archives for: Uh-Oh
Bombings in Bali
by dwbWell, there goes my planned trip to Bali this winter. 22 Dead, 50 injured. This is the 2nd attack in 3 years, the first being in October 2002.
I think the world is being too easy on countries who harbor terrorist. The “Axis Of Evil” countries. Call me crude, but we (or someone) should give these shit holes 48 hours to deport all terrorists and extremist from their country or we will kindly remove the country in question from the map. We have an asshole for a president who is willing to fight this “war on terror” and I think he is just the prick to get the job done. Everyone already hates him, why not go out hated AND be known as the man who stomped out terrorism.
Airports to seize porn?
by dwbI’m home 1 day and I read this. Things are getting WAY out of hand. They need to be worried about extremist trying to high-jack planes and not jack off material that is being carried INTO the USA. What is happening to this country?
Follow this link for the full story.
I wish them the best of luck trying to identify what obscenity or “normal pornography” is right there at the airport. “Normal pornography” for me is when 2 Asian girls are pissing on each other while getting fucked my multiple black men. So “normal pornography” is relative.
It does say on the customs form that “obscene material is GENERALLY prohibited” and I have used that argument many times when they have searched me and found my porn. So far no problems. Only time will see how far these ass hats will go. My guess is, they will go as far as they can and then go a little further. We’ll all let them do it and then complain along the way.
Busted
by dwbI knew this was going to happen the moment we met that little fucking Pimp kid. Even while trying to do the right thing and not work with him, the little fucker showed up the next day at our hotel with a few girls (who were over 18) in an attempt to pimp them out. Apparently he knew the taxi driver we were using and he brought that little fucker right back to us.
Here is a rough play by play of what happened.
At around 7:30am someone was knocking on my door. I’m naked, dazed and pissed off, but I get, turn on a light, wrap a towel around my bottom and walk over to open the hotel door. The moment I cracked it open, the force from the other side pushed it open as fast as they could. Within an instant, I was on the ground with what feels like boots on my neck, arms and legs, rendering me totally unmovable. There was fast, loud shouting in Spanish and I could see the barrels of a few large machine guns pointing at my head. Oh… my… God. I’m I being kidnapped? Is this the police? Am I going to die? All thoughts racing through my mind at a million miles a second. I came as close to shitting in my pants as a person can get, without actually shitting in their pants.
Colombian police raided our two hotel rooms SWAT style. About 20 military police and 5 or 6 more plain clothed special agents woke us up and turned our rooms upside down. Every pocket, every bag and every pillow case was checked as well as our computers and all our mini DVs that we had been shooting on.
During the process, we had no idea what was going on. After they slowed their speech down, I was able to understand they were there for the pornos and they left it at that.
We had two rooms, Derrick and I in one room, Kincade and Sand in the other. All the gear and mini DVs were in Kincade’s room, and the computer was in my room.
About 20 minutes after the raid on my room the phone rings. It’s kincade.
Kincade: Dude, are the police in your room?
Me: Yup.
Kincade: We’re fucked man.
Me: Did they find the camera?
Kincade: Yup. But they can’t figure out how to turn it on.
Me: Good, don’t show them. They will never figure it out.
Kincade: OK. You know Sand has weed, right?
Me: I do now. Yea, we’re fucked.
Kincade: I’ll call you back.
Me: OK, keep your cool. We’ll work through this.
20 minutes later my phone rings again.
Kincade: Dude, they figured out the camera and are watching the movies.
Me: Fuck!
Kincade: No worries though, the weed is hidden.
Me: OK, check back later.
About 30 minutes later, the phone rings yet again.
Kincade: They found the weed.
Me: That’s the good news I was looking for.
Kincade: See you at the jail boss.
Me: Yup.
After spending a few hours in the room, we were taken to a holding cell at the station.
We spent the next three days there. It was the longest three days of my life. No word of what the charges were. No phone calls allowed. No nothing.
On the last day, they come to the cell, open the door and tell us we are free to go. WTF!?!?
As it turns out, Colombia has a huge problem with pedophiles and people shooting child porn. When the pimp showed up at our hotel uninvited, the manager called the police as I’m sure it looked suspicious why a boy was coming to our hotel room with girls, who even though were over 18, they looked young.
The police came for us thinking we were fucking with kids. Of course we were not but they didn’t know that. They did a full investigation that took three days to confirm we were only shooting porn with legal models. Once they knew we were legit and their investigation was complete, they let us go but kept our gear. I was told we will get it back later but I’m not going to hold my breath on that one. Truth be told, I could care less, I have my freedom. The police didn’t give a shit about the weed, but kept it anyway.
I thought we were locked with the key tossed away, but they later said they could care less about the girls we had shot as long as they were of legal age. They were only there looking for pedophiles or child pornographers, which we are not, so we were free. They said shooting legal models there was not a problem, but I’ve had my fair share of fun in Cali, Colombia and it’s time to move on.
As we walk out of the station, Kincade turns to me and says, “where to now boss?” I didn’t know if he was just that hardcore or if he didn’t really fully understand the situation we were in. Either way, he’s a fucking Storm Trooper.
This was the 2nd most scary moment of my life. The 1st was in Venezuela a few years ago with my brother when we were taken off a bus in the Andes mountains (on the Colombia / Venezuela border) at gun point by guerrillas. They took all the men off the bus, lined us up and pointed guns at us while the leader checked our documents. It was without a doubt a shit your pants moment. In the end they let us all go but until we were put back on the bus, I thought death was just around the corner.
I think I’m going to check Colombia off my list of countries to shoot in. Eh, maybe not. What are the odds of this happening again? Right?
Kids pimping kids
by dwbDerrick just flew in and we have been on the grind looking for a few DVD “box cover” type girls to shoot. We ended up by mistake in this scary, and I mean SCARY town about an hour or so out of the city where it is 100% black people. I’m talking purple blacks left over from the slave days. It wasn’t scary because it was full of blacks, it was scary because… well, it was dark and you couldn’t see them in the shadows, but you knew they were there looking at us because we were probably the only non-blacks to enter this little town in 50 years. I’d bet most of them have never even seen a white guy, until now.
Then they started surrounding us as if we had fallen from the sky. It was very creepy and a bit scary. As far as we knew, they were cannibals and dinner was just delivered.
We were told about a small bar in town where the whores were so off we went to do what we do. We pulled up to the place and I shit you not the translation of the name meant “The Little Monkeys.” Now, I don’t care who you are, that’s funny. How is anyone going to name a bar in a 100% black town anything to do with monkeys? That’s so wrong you can’t help but laugh. You can bet if there was a white man who came through this town before us, he owns that bar.
Anyhoo… it was time to move on and we got about 10 minutes outside of this little black town and was pulled over by the military police for a random check. Here in Colombia they do this all the time but tonight it was a small unit (10 – 15 guys) with HUGE machine guns, full camouflage outfits and war like face paint. It was very intimidating. This was our 3rd shake down in 3 days so we knew the drill… out of the car slowly, smile, they search you then the car, check your ID and your on the way. Only this time, dip shit Derrick didn’t have any ID on him so you can guess what happened next.
The military police told him it was illegal to travel without it within the country, and it is. They said he had to stay there while I went to get the passport. If I did not come back with it, he was going to jail. Being the smart gringo that I was I tried to bribe the main guy and all hell broke loose as I offended him. We later found out that this hard ass loves his job and has spent the last 17 years (count ‘em) living IN THE JUNGLE fighting militant groups and drug lords. He claims was one of the guys who brought down Pablo Escobar and has also trained in the USA with the Green Berets. 100% total bad ass, and I pissed him off. He could have killed me with his stare alone. In fact, I’d wager a lot of money that this dude could beat the shit out of Chuck Norris with one hand tied behind his back. Yea, he’s that big of a bad ass. At least he looks like one and talks the talk.
So after Sand cooled him down I was off to get the passport and it all worked out fine. 2 hours later we were off to the next town a little shaken from these guys. I don’t frighten easy and I was scared.
Once we got to the next small town we were in search of this Pimp everyone was telling us about. Word on the street is that this cat has the line on all the girls on town and was THE MAN to talk to. After an hour of searching for him, we found him. This “pimp” was only 15 years old and gay. This little boy was a fucking Pimp!!! Unreal. After we confirmed his girls were over the age of 18, I was still a little nervous about dealing with this dude, and went against my gut feeling, and off we went. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Regardless of what he said about his girls being over 18, he took us to meet about 20 girls and all but 2 were underage, some as young as 13. It was sad and heartbreaking to see such young girls for sale. We told him they all needed to be 18 and above, but there is no talking to a pimp of any age it seems. They never listen. Kids pimping kids… what has the world come to?
Apparently this town, which will go unnamed for obvious reasons, is the mecca for child prostitution and a 15 year old gay kid runs it all. Just when you think you have seen and heard it all, something like this comes along and leaves you speechless. When I was 15 I was skateboarding and jacking off in the basement of my parents house while looking at the Sears Catalog bra section. I can’t fathom running whores at that age. So sad.
Knowing the potential for a dangerous situation, we humored the guy for a little while and then went on our way. There are some things I will not be a part of and this is one of them.
Colombian plane hijacked
by dwbThere was a Colombian airplane hijacked today but it hasn’t made US news yet.
Latin crack head
by dwbYou just never know what your going to find walking along the streets in Colombia in the middle of the night.
This naked crack head was just walking around as if everything was normal. Though, looking back, perhaps everything was normal and we were the ones out of place. Now that I think about it, we should have shot this cracked out whore just for the sake of… shit, I dunno, for the sake of shooting something fucked up.
On second though, this was probably a very bad area for us to be roaming around in. We’re probably lucky we were not robbed, killed or kidnapped.
Coming soon to BlackVaginaFinder.com. WARNING – only click that link if you’re down to see some of the nastiest hoes ever captured on film.
As you sit in the comforts of your room, maybe even thinking about the homeless people or crack heads where you live, can you think of any reason why this nut job would not only be naked, but so fucking dirty on top of it? I bet she hasn’t worn clothes in months. How can you just walk the streets naked and dirty like this in any country? How do you just lay down naked on the street and go to sleep? Madness. Makes you wonder what’s going through her mind, if anything at all.
Bogota street justice
by dwbWhat a freakin’ night. As I walk out of the hotel Sand is getting robbed by 3 guys right on the street about 100 feet from the hotel door. He yells for me and the guys run when they see me coming. Not that I’m a scary dude but because the odds were no longer in their favor and they risk at least one of them being caught or hurt. Without even thinking if these guys had weapons or not and forgetting I’m in Colombia, I foolishly sprinted to his aid but two of them ran away as I charged, but one poor fucker was slow and we chased down and fucked him up.
While in Sao Paulo 2 years ago I met a guy who trained Military Police and other law officers hand to hand combat. He taught me a few simple moves to lock a person up by his wrist and arm, pin him down and keep him from moving. He made me do it over and over and over so I would never forget it and tonight, two years later I used it on this guy while Sand beat the living dog piss out of him for 3 or 4 minutes until the policia showed up. The whole time Sand is yelling for me to break his arm, and caught in the moment, I put all my weight on his wrist that was bent back to break it, but it wouldn’t fucking break! This dude is superman or something. Sand is BEATING HIS ASS and I’m trying to break his arm with all my might and the guy is just taking it all. Jacked up on some drug I’m sure, but fuck, his arm should still break.
The police arrive.
They cuffed this scum bag while I had him pinned and all the while Sand kept punching him in the face and the police did nothing to stop it. Finally, after wearing down, Sand takes a break and the cops toss the guy up against a wall, hands cuffed behind his back, and sit him up. They then take their night stick and stick it to his throat and start choking the guy! So here we are, right in the middle of Bogota, watching police choking a guy to death! Then, out of nowhere, the other cop starts kicking the guy in the face while the other cop is choking him! WHAT THE FUCK!
The dirt bag just starts to drift to sleep and they stop. They’ve done this before it seems. They choke him to the point of passing out and then stop. Then kick his ass some more before tossing him in the back of a police pick-up truck.
Sand walk up again while the guy is in the back of the truck and started nailing him some more while the cops did nothing. This poor guy literally got the living shit beat out of him.
The police let us go to the station with them to file the paperwork and we got to ride in the truck with the criminal while the cops still smacked him around a bit and Sand took a few cheap shots along the way.
We filed the papers and then the cops wanted to know what I thought about Michael Jackson, Katrina and Colombian women. Huh?
We took them out to a 24 hour chicken joint and got the skinny on some more quality whore houses in town. They also told us that if I would of snapped his arm the way I had him pinned, I would of spent AT LEAST 4 months in jail here. Shit. Thank God that guys arm didn’t break then. Talk about a uber backfire.
Word to the wise, don’t get caught robbing anyone in Bogota and don’t break any bones of the guy who is robbing you. Let the police do it for you.
Caverject – OMG
by dwbWhile picking up some “Postnior2” pills for a girl that Kincade shot his load in by mistake, we saw Caverject sitting there in the pharmacy fridge. It was cheap so we flipped for who was going to test it out. Of course Kincade lost and was the poor fucker to try out this erection shot. Truth be told, there was NO WAY I would of done this even if I would of lost the coin toss.
The fact that a perfectly good cock, and I don’t mean that in a gay way, is about to be injected with this stuff to make it even harder, boggles the mind. But hey, that’s how you gotta roll when you’re driving on Heathens Highway.
Ta-daa! Wood that could cut wood. Brilliant!
From what I’ve heard a lot of guys back in LA are using this shit to keep their cocks hard on the set. Why? If you ask me, if you NEED this to get wood, you don’t need to be in the business.
We Be Burnin’
by dwbThere is a new song by Sean Paul called “We Be Burnin’.”
This is our new theme song. Sand and Kincade are thanking their Gods for Zithromax right now.
My old man used to say, “Son, it’s all fun and games until you’re pissing razor blades.”
Muahahahahahaha!!!!!!
More Fresh Meat
by dwbHere are a few new girls that Kincade and Sand have torn apart. A few of them were cute and great to work with. I’ll always shoot a “cute” or average looking girl if she is willing to do extra like anal or take on 2 guys, so that may explain 1 or 2 of these.
Later, the girl with the blond curly hair (below) tried to cause problems for us by having some cartel boy meet with us so he could get in on the action and get a piece of whatever porno pie I was going to make. We figured that was a bad idea and split town.
Fuckin’ Kincade
by dwbAll is well on this beautiful night until this tool wants to toss a beer can out of the window of the taxi. I personally hate litter bugs and apparently so do the Colombian police because they pulled us over at 2am and we all pointed them right to Kincade. “He did it!”
They searched the entire car, looked at all my gear and even picked up the mini DV tapes of the days shoots but didn’t know what they were so they just cuffed Kincade as we laughed at him. I paid the cops $5 to let me take some pics, they were happy to ham it up for me.
Kincade spent a day in the can until we went through the SLOW process of bailing him out. It cost $250 total which is nothing compared to the horrible night he spent in a Colombian jail cell. Serves him right.
So Kincade, tell us what it’s like on the inside of a Colombian jail. LOL Next time aim for the litter can, ya jack ass.